


Love Knows No Bounds

by anicebowlofsoup



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Art, Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood and Violence, Bottom!Alucard, Canon-Typical Violence, Coping, Depression, Doubt, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Fear, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Ghosts, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, Long, Love, Malnutrition, Masturbation, Mention of - Freeform, Multi, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Touching, Pain, Post-Betrayal, Post-Season/Series 03, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Romance, Secret Crush, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:54:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23211316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anicebowlofsoup/pseuds/anicebowlofsoup
Summary: Post Lindenfeld, Sypha gets a bad feeling and decides she and Trevor need to go visit Alucard. They find him in a state of internal chaos and through some tough walls, they finally learn what happened and help Alucard recover from his trauma, no matter what it takes.
Relationships: Alucard | Adrian Tepes | Arikado Genya/Sypha Belnades, Alucard | Adrian Tepes | Arikado Genya/Trevor Belmont, Alucard | Adrian Tepes | Arikado Genya/Trevor Belmont/Sypha Belnades, Trevor Belmont/Sypha Belnades
Comments: 62
Kudos: 342





	1. The Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished binge watching Castlevania and I absolutely adore the content, the characters, the people so much and after season three, I needed some more content, so I decided to make my own. This will be a slow burn, and is my first fic that I hope won't be too bad. I just love this whole series a whole lot and I want to bring some peace to my mind that may or may not come if the decide whether or not to make a season four. 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy.  
> <3 Boo
> 
> EDIT: Also! If you have any ideas of something you may like to see explored in this, let me know! I may end up using it. <3

Trevor and Sypha pack up their wagon quickly. After finding the horrific secrets hidden in Lindenfeld, the duo were stricken with fear and discomfort to say the very least. The creepy monks with their satanic beastie hidden under the monastery, the priest with his apple tree of 'little pleasures' and the dozen pairs of tiny shoes hidden away in the back closet, and the fiery soul harvest had been a little too much for them, especially Sypha. 

When they hit the road that night, she finds herself restless in the passenger seat. 

"Sypha, you're making me nervous with all your wiggling," Trevor complains, tired, dark bags under tired blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, Trevor, but I cannot get the image of those tiny little shoes out of my mind!" Sypha leans her head on Trevor's shoulder and links an arm under his, just to feel some sense of security. 

"You need to let it go. It was fucked up, but welcome to my life. We adventured for your life for a while, now welcome to mine," he says darkly.

Sypha lifts her head and glares at the hunter, "You know, you still are not very good at this encouraging talk."

"Well, maybe if our circumstances were a little more encouraging, I would be nicer. Look, we've been traveling a while now, we should stop and rest for the night. Get something to eat. I'm starving," the Belmont says dully, pulling over in a nice clearing where the moon shone brightly into it, illuminating the area.

"Very well. You make a good case," Sypha replies as the wagon stops. She hops down onto the grassy forest floor and heads to the back to get the sleeping bags and set up in the wagon for a night of rest while Trevor tries the horses up and feeds them food and drink. 

After a long while, Sypha says, "Do you think we should go check on Alucard?"

Trevor pauses for a moment, then looks up at her and begins walking to the back to get some food and set up a fire for warmth and to cook on. "I dunno, why? It's only been a couple months. I'm sure he's fine."

"I know, I just.. I worry about him, and with that attack on Lindenfeld, I wonder if he's okay, you know? What if something got out and got to him," the Speaker says worriedly, hopping down from the wagon.

"He's a big boy vampire now, Sypha. You're working yourself up over nothing. Come on, start this fire would you? I'm freezing my ass off," Trevor says, gesturing the tiny fire pit he made with some dry twigs and rocks.

Sypha sighs and sits on the ground with her knees pulled up to her chest, then casts a small fire bolt into the pit and creates a tiny flame in the center. "Something doesn't feel right though, Trevor. There's a force telling me we need to go back. I fear he may be in danger." 

Grunting as he sits, Trevor pulls out a blade and begins roasting a vegetable over the fire. "Danger? What danger could the bastard have gotten himself into? He has a castle in the middle of fucking nowhere next to my old house in a dense forest by a mountain. He's safe, Sypha, you're just-"

"What, crazy?" Sypha snaps.

"What? No, no no, just paranoid. After today, I imagine you would be. Come here it's cold and you don't have sleeves," Trevor says, opening his cloak to let her scoot in close. The Speaker's tense demeanor crumbles a little and she sits close to Trevor's side, leaning her head against his shoulder and linking her arm with his again. "Look, if your heart is set on it, I guess we can make our way back to Alucard."

"Thank you, Trevor. I.. I miss him, too, you know," she says, staring into the heart of the flames, thinking of their friend they had left behind. 

A twinge of guilt fills her heart at the thought of leaving him alone just days after killing his father. She wonders if the vampire had been taking care of himself, or just holed himself off from the world and was succumbing to the insanity of loneliness. He is an angry teenager in an adult body, afterall. She misses his smile, his intellect, and even though it was annoying, the quippy bickering between Trevor and Alucard. There was a nice charm Alucard brought to the group, and even though this time away had been good for her and Trevor, there was an emptiness she felt sometimes. Like there was something missing. Someone.

A long moment of stillness falls upon the duo, only the sound of crackling kindling and tree branches clicking in the woods around them spoke. Trevor sits deep in thought, trying to think of how to respond, if he even will at all, and he sets his roasted vegetable aside, not hungry enough to eat anymore. 

Does he miss the vampire? No, not really. The man was arrogant, posh, and always trying to one up him. He was elegant and fluid, and a good person to poke fun at and get a funny answer back from. Sure, he could poke fun at Sypha, but with Alucard, there was always some insult or sassy comeback. The more Trevor thinks about him, the more he realizes, yes. He does miss the vampiric bastard. He decides to keep that to himself in the din of night, though, and it would have fallen on sleeping ears anyway, had he confessed his agreement.

Sypha breathes slowly, rhythmically, eyes closed, her arm still linked with his, hand in hand with her hunter.

Trevor sighs darkly, keeping an eye on the flames for a little while before a restless, nightmare filled night plagues him and his lover.

\--------

That same day, back at the castle, Alucard walks back from the forest carrying a basket of fresh fish and berries, as well as long branches and sticks he found that he could use if any more visitors came around. 

As he walks, his clothes rub uncomfortably against the burns he received the night before, a horrid reminder of the betrayal he had endured. 

'They were.. my friends. I never lied! I never lied to them and yet they take advantage of me anyway. Maybe that's all the people I care about do. Lie to you. Take advantage of you. Take… everything from you and then try to kill you… They abandon you.'

These thoughts spiral through the vampire's head and tears roll down his cheeks remembering how nice it felt to be cared for, adored and caressed and held and… and loved. Or what he thought was love. And then the change. Their warm brown eyes turned cold. Their tender, gentle, caring touches turned deceitful, hateful and malicious, and the pain, not of the silver stands that bound him, but the pain of being taken advantage of and betrayed.

Alucard doesn't look at the bodies hanging lifelessly in the breeze as he storms into his castle and slams the doors behind him, tossing the branches by the doors for later. He practically flies down the stairs to the kitchen, his steps fueled with anger and hatred. 

Once he arrives in the sun kissed kitchen, Alucard tosses the basket on the table and begins unpacking it with shaking, unsteady fingers. His vision blurs with tears, and he can barely see the things he unpacks for his lunch, and that's when he realizes he doesn't feel like eating. The vampire trembles as he puts everything back and into the icebox to save for later. 

Glancing up, his eye catches the little straw dolls of the stinky bastard man and the intelligent Speaker mage he had called friends at one point, his rage now coupled with anguish and sorrow. Alucard feels his fingernails growing and he snarls, reaching out and grabbing the small trinkets he had crafted, his nails digging into the straw and tearing them. He brings the little things to his forehead and falls to his knees, weeping into the fabrics of his only company.

After what seems like hours, Alucard pulls the dolls away from his face and looks at them, his nails having receded once more and he sees the holes gaping in the sides.

"Oh dear," he breathes, running his fingers over the damaged areas, "I-"

He stops himself. He stands from his position and shakes his head, replacing the dolls on the cabinet. Alucard shakes his head again and rubs his eyes as tears sting them once more, then the man walks out of the kitchen and heads up to his room to clean up. 

When he arrives, he snarls at the stench of their blood, and takes the sheets numbly from his bed, piling them in a heap to clean later. The burns across his body begin aching once more.

Alucard ignores it, an emotionless, exhausted expression now lays across his face as he makes quick work of the room, then takes the sheets to his father's old study. He bundles them up, another tear slipping down his nose and he places them in the hearth, lighting them on fire, then the man returns to his old room where a hole filled, bloody mattress, tattered cloths and a broken window glare back at him. He picks up his blade, a darkness now simmering behind golden eyes, and then turns and leaves the room, closing it behind him so he never has to look back at it again.

\------

The only monsters that show themselves to Sypha and Trevor that night are the monsters in their nightmares. Images of children's shoes, burning souls, monsters from hell itself, friends dying and even distorted and disturbing images of their beloved Alucard plague their dreams through the night and Sypha even wakes up with a shout at one point.

"No don't!" 

Trevor jolts awake, smoldering ashes in the firepit and the last light of moonlight disappearing as the sun begins its ascension into the day. "Y'alright?" Trevor mumbles, still half asleep, his words slurring.

"Y-Yes. Bad.. bad dream. Go back to sleep," she says somberly, laying back against him.

"Mm would, but I'm awake now. We.. uh.." he rubs his eyes and face and stretches a little, then runs a comforting hand down Sypha's arm.

"Early start? We may get there sooner," Sypha suggests, her breathing now back to a normal pace, her heart still racing.

Standing up slowly, stretching and yawning one more time, the scruffy man says, "Yep, sure whatever. I'm gonna go take a piss first."

Sypha stands as well, "Knock yourself out."

"I will." 

As he leaves, Sypha rubs her arms anxiously but begins packing up their things: Trevor's blade, and the warm stones around the fire pit. She gets the horses warmed up a little and ready to go, and by that time, Trevor has returned.

"Ready to go?" He gets up into the driver's seat and Sypha joins him, nodding. 

"Back to Alucard." 

"Back to Alucard, indeed." 

Belnades and Belmont begin their journey back to their friend, anxious about what state he may be in when they return, but nonetheless, they head on, leaving Lindenfeld in their wagon tracks so they may never look back on that again.


	2. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sypha and Trevor return to find Alucard holed up in his castle. After the unsightly display in the front yard, they determine they made it just in time. Alucard makes dinner and things go relatively smoothly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thank you for reading this! It means so much. I'm not sure if I'm going to slow or dragging this out too much or whatever, but please let me know how you think it's going so far. I know the next chapter is going to be a little more interesting so, stay tuned!
> 
> <3   
> Boo

Two long, excruciating weeks have gone by, for both the duo and the vampire alike. Sypha's tensions and worries have grown from nerves into full panic attacks. Trevor's nerves have grown from just that into a restlessness and longing. Alucard's loneliness has grown into a dull pain in his chest and a headache that plagues him.

He has tried everything: reading the old books in both libraries, drawing pictures of his friends and his mother, sketching darker, more sinister images when his loneliness and fear and anger well up inside and it causes too much rage and pain to make anything meaningful. He tried new mediums, he fixed the dolls he tore, he cleaned, he cooked meals he did not eat, he watered plants, but still his thoughts plagued his every movement. The burns still hurt, but now it was dull and almost non-existent. The vampire was almost grateful these days that he could not see himself in the reflections in the lake, nor any other reflective surface for that matter, not wanting to see what state he could possibly be in.

Alucard has come to the conclusion he is to be alone in his castle forever. With no word from Sypha or Trevor in the years that seem to have passed make him believe they've forgotten about him, or died, or wore: they just wanted him out of their lives. He heard something in the forest a few days ago, but whatever it was left after emerging from the trees and seeing the welcoming display of decay and death.

After so many days of being alone with his thoughts, no one around, no methods of coping known to him, no one to talk to- not even his own reflection- Alucard hardly speaks. He hardly eats. The already thin and slender vampire is now gaunt, his cheeks and eyes sunken, fingers bony from malnourishment. His hair is dull, the golden shimmer of his locks faded. Windows have remained closed and he only goes outside these days when necessity rears its ugly head. He hasn't bathed in weeks, probably. He feels weaker. His loneliness has grown into a dark pit in his stomach, in his chest and his thoughts have no direction anymore.

Today, however, is one of those necessity days.

The morning brings a chilly air and a cloudy, grey sky. Alucard takes a large basket from the kitchen which looks grey and lifeless today, and he sighs, collecting a water pail as well. He walks slowly to the front doors and cracks one open, slipping on some shoes to go out into the forest and retrieve some food supplies, as well as twigs and branches for firewood.

The forest feels devoid of life, no chattering squirrels, chirps of birds, or bleats of elk and deer. Just tree branches clicking and icy breeze whispering through them as well as the gentle sounds of the cool rushing stream near the castle. As he stands, a slow drizzle of cold rain begins to dampen his skin. Alucard picks some fresh red berries, and catches three fish from the stream and places them into the basket on his arm. While at the stream, he collects some fresh water as well, splashing his face with it.

"Alucard, you need a bath…" he mutters to himself, wiping his face, voice soft and crackly from disuse. "You reek of death. But who cares? There's no one around but you.

"'You smell like a rotting pig carcass full of dog shit and cat piss,'" the vampire says, mocking Trevor's voice.

"'Oh, shut up, Trevor, he only smells like a pig carcass. Silly man. What-'" Alucard stops himself. "What are you doing? You're insane.."

Standing up from the water, Alucard collects his things and heads back in the direction of the castle. He looks around when he thinks he hears a wagon in the distance, but he says, "No. It isn't anything. It's just you and your thoughts. Shut up," and he continues inside to the kitchens where he puts the fish in the icebox and the berries in a small bowl.

Plucking one of them out, he stares at it for a long time, rolling it between long and slender fingers. After a long moment of staring, contemplating, the man goes to eat it but a loud thud at the front door causes him to jump, the berry skittering across the floor into a dark corner of the room.

"Now who on God's green _fucking_ earth could that be?" He snarls.

\-------

In the two weeks that had passed in trying to get here, the duo had only two or three run-ins with night creatures, this last one having left them a little worse for wear. Dried blood runs down Trevor's face and head from where a creature threw him into a large stone outcropping, and Sypha had bandages wrapped tightly around nasty bite wounds on her chest and left forearm.

Earlier the same day, Sypha had been tossing and turning restlessly in the back of the cart, trying to get some sleep while Trevor found the path leading to the old, abandoned, broken down house of Belmont, alongside the enormous castle that remains half shrouded in low-hanging cloud cover. The trees chatter around them in the breeze and a raven caws loudly as they pass by.

"Sypha, I've found the path. We're close," Trevor says to his lover, who, at the news, gets up quickly with a blanket around her shoulders and rejoins him in her seat on the wagon. 

"Good, good. Thank God." The drizzle of rain begins and Sypha tosses the blanket around Trevor's shoulders and then starts a small fire in her fingers to warm them. "What do you think.. we will find?" 

"I'm not sure, at this point. Maybe he's alive and well! Doing his vampire thing, like sleeping in coffins and.. drinking blood or whatever. Reading books and being a pompous asshole," Trevor jokes, just trying to get even a smile.

And he does. Sypha even lets out a small chuckle, lacing her arm around his and entwining their fingers. "Maybe. That would be best." But her smile quickly fades as they round a corner to see the looming castle.

"Hey, Trevor? Do you see that?" Sypha points to two hovering figures out front of the door.

"Yeah, I see them. I- bloody hell. I think whatever force spoke to you about Alucard was right…" Trevor admits, staring at the bodies of two people spiked out front of the castle, dead, decaying for a while now, sporting nasty rotted flesh and even some bone exposure from feeding crows and ravens, and other scavengers that had stopped by for a meal.

Sypha covers her mouth, eyes widened in fear at the image before her. "Isn't this what Dracula did to those forty people all those years ago?" 

"Yeah, I guess it is. We…" 

"We never should have left. This cannot be good. Come on, hurry, Trevor!" She urges him and takes the reins,making the horses go a little quicker to the doors. 

Once close enough, Sypha stops them and jumps off of the wagon. "Trevor! Now! Come on, please!" She begs, worry and fear building up in her chest.

Trevor tries the horses up quickly and then joins her side, taking her hand as she leads them up the stairs to the front doors. 

The woman looks up at her lover and steps forward. "Here goes nothing," she says with a harsh swallow and then takes her hand and bangs three times upon the heavy metal doors. 

A long time passes with no answer, no response. 

"Maybe he's down in the library, pouring over some old monster hunting books your family left behind," Sypha says, trying to remain optimistic, but the grey drizzle of the day begins to pour over her heart.

"Yeah. Maybe." Trevor looks up at the tall doors and sighs, turning away with Sypha until they hear a low grating and the sound of a door being pushed open.

Sypha turns quickly and goes to pull the door open, but a broken, yet familiar shout snarls, "Whoever you are, leave this place. I will have no visitors. Ever."

Sypha pulls her hand away, then replaces it on the door again, hope and relief washing over her, "Not even for us? Your stinky bastard and your adorable and courageous magician?"

Alucard stops closing the door and pauses for a split second, at the voice, gasping a little. Could this be…? "No. This isn't real. You're not real. Go away." And he closes and bars the door.

"H-Hey!" Trevor shouts, banging on the door with a fist. "Alucard what the fuck?! Let us in! Of course it's us!" 

The vampire chuckles softly inside his grave of a house. He laughs, and he laughs as he slides down the door and grips his hair in his hands, tears falling down his nose again and into his lap. 

The Belmont stops hitting the door when laughter rings out through the cracks in the door and he breathes a soft, "What the fuck..?" 

A few seconds pass and the laughter subsides into crying.

"Alucard?" Sypha calls through the door seam, "Please open the door. We came to see you! We.. We came to see you because we missed you." 

After what seems like ages, a loud thud echoes from inside and the door opens slowly. 

There, in a creme colored shirt that still looks damp from rain, dark pants and slip on shoes, stands an alabaster man with a deep red scar across his chest from his father some faded scars from something else, tear tracks down his cheeks and pale, messy hair shrouding his face, stands a trembling, angry, melancholy and sorrowful Alucard Tepes, son of Lisa and Dracula and Sypha can barely hold it together.

"Alucard…" she whispers, a small smile on her face as she walks up to him and takes his hand in hers which the vampire hisses at angrily and pulls away. Sypha jumps and takes her hand back, a little spooked, but just grateful he is alive.

"Don't. I.. I apologize. Just.. Come in. You'll catch your death of cold," he says lowly, unsure if this is still a figment of his imagination or not. 

Trevor and Sypha look him over, then at each other and nod, stepping inside the cold, dark halls of the enormous castle as the doors close to the outside world around them, reunited at last.

\-------

After a little time of gathering their supplies from the wagon, Alucard takes them to a room they can stay in for as long as they need to. 

The room itself is quite nice, untouched, clean, as if it was prepared just recently. The room is big, but not too empty or echoey, just big enough to feel like a few people could room here for a night if needed. A large, dark wood, four poster bed takes up a good majority of the floor space, with an ornate rug sitting beneath it. Two tall-backed armchairs sit endearingly close to the stone hearth which appears to be freshly cleaned, chopped wood next to it and a small bucket of sticks and twigs and paper for kindling. A wardrobe looms on the left side of the room and a small wooden chair next to a door has a pair of towels, a set of washing cloths, soaps and wash brushes sitting next to it while a massive window backs the room, a door next to it leading out to a balcony with flowers potted and blowing gently in the afternoon drizzle.

Sypha and Trevor walk inside and Sypha is the first to speak. 

"Wow, Alcuard, this is beautiful! Thank you," she gasps, looking around at all of the beautiful pieces in the room. 

"It.. It's nothing, really," replies the vampire, still in disbelief.

Trevor looks over at him briefly, taking in the man's physicality and state, thinking over his reaction to them and Sypha taking his hand. Confusion knits into his brows, but for the time being, he keeps his mouth shut and will pry later. 

"Hey, Sypha, can we do this room thing later? I'm fucking famished. Have anything to eat 'round here?" Trevor turns to Alucard and the man grimaces a little. 

"Food… yes, of course I do. Let me go make you something for dinner." A small fleeting memory of Sumi and Taka taking his arms in theirs as Taka asked what was for dinner flickers through Alucard's mind and he turns away from Trevor and Sypha quickly, wiping his eyes. 

Trevor watches the spindly man walk away and he goes and sits on the bed. "Is it me or does he look god awful right now?" 

"He looks pretty god awful to me too," Sypha nods in agreement, "I wonder what happened to him… Loneliness probably. We can pester him about it later though. For now, let's get comfortable and join him in the kitchen." She says, wrapping herself in a long fluffy robe that was hanging in the wardrobe.

"Yeah. Probably can't tell he looks like a night creature and smells like goat piss." Trevor laughs. 

Sypha sighs. "You are not wrong. But let's try to keep the commentary to a minimum, just for now. He… doesn't seem well."

Rolling his eyes, Trevor stands up, removing the Belmont branded leather tunic he wears that smells like it had seen better days, leaving him in his loose white shirt. 

Sypha walks up to him and wraps her arms around his torso, leaning her head on his chest. "I'm worried we may have just made it in time," she says, staring at the floor distantly.

"Yeah, but we're here now." Trevor rubs her back gently, taking care to watch for her wounds. 

"We are! Now let's go find him. Belnades and Belmont have a new mission now: taking care of their friend." Sypha looks up at Trevor with a smile of determination, as she usually has when they go on adventures or do something exciting and new.

Rolling his eyes again, Trevor sighs, "I keep telling you it's Belmont and Belnades, not the other way around. Jeez."

Sypha glares at him playfully, then breaks away from the hug and smacks his ass. "I like to think you're wrong," and she begins walking out of the room toward the kitchen.

"Hey!" Trevor shouts, flushed and embarrassed now, running after her.

After a couple of minutes finding their way around, the pair end up outside the kitchen due to the smells of sizzling spices and olive oil floating through the castle. They open the door to see Alucard preparing the three fish he caught earlier- two for Belmont, one for Sypha- with lemon, salt, pepper and other herbs and spices to make something nice for the people who came back to him, even if he still has a hard time believing they're really there.

"Wow Alucard, this smells amazing! Thank you so much for taking the time in making us something to eat," Sypha smiles, walking towards him slowly. 

Alucard turns his head a little, eyes flickering over for just a brief second, acknowledging her, but goes back to cooking and preparing the meal. "It's nothing really. Are you just passing through?" He begins cutting some ripe tomatoes, cucumber and onion to douse in lemon, salt and pepper to make a fresh salad on the side.

He almost dreads the answer, regretting the question immediately.

"No, actually, we were planning to stay a while if that was okay with you. Some shit went down in a little town a couple weeks from here and we.. we decided to come here. It's quiet, remote, and away from civilization, and it has you! And we missed you, Alucard." Standing right next to him, Sypha can smell his lack of self care, but it doesn't bother her much. She understands where he comes from, honestly, even if she doesn't know the whole story.

"Really?" The tension begins to leave the vampire's shoulders, his jaw loosening and his grip on the knife becoming just a firm hold of it. "Um.. yes, please, stay as long as you like." _Please stay forever…_

Sypha smiles. "Okay! Alucard I have a question. Can I give you a hug please? Your favorite Speaker ever missed you very very much dnd would like a hug please."

The tension returns, and Alucard looks her over a little. "You are my favorite Speaker, this is true, but…" he pauses, a harsh, fiery debate going through his head.

_This is your friend. The friend who abandoned you. But they came back and they're here now! But look at what happened the last time you trusted. They came around just to try and kill you. But these are my friends and allies I've known the longest! She.. just wants a hug. But what if she does the same thing..?_

The words tango round and round his head, causing his brows to furrow, and Sypha smiles gently and quietly says, "It's okay to say no. I promise. We have all the time in the world, okay?" 

A slow nod follows with a little relief, when- 

"Hey Alucard, the fuck are these?" Trevor jabs a thumb at the small dolls sitting on the cabinet. He had been looking them over, admiring them even, for a while now, the detail impeccable, even down to the little whip on his doll's hip. He notices little stitches in the sides and wonders what happened. Sypha joins him in looking over the dolls, admiring the handiwork and the likeness of her and Trevor.

Alucard bristles a little and hurries over, taking them and shutting them in a drawer. "They're nothing." 

"I dunno about that. Looked a hell of a lot like us." Trevor shrugs a little. "Just saying."

Ignoring him, Alucard goes back to cutting up vegetables and says, "You said some shit went down a little while ago, yes? What happened?"

Sypha and Trevor look at each other and sigh. "This is gonna take a while, isn't it," he asks the mage, who nods slowly.

"It's okay, though. We will get there," she says in a low whisper. Then to Alucard, she walks over and sits in a chair and says, "Where do I even start?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you made it through, welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read this silly little thing. I appreciate your time! Let me know your thoughts if you want, or don't, that's totally fine too. You're amazing and I think you're swell. Stay safe!


	3. Bathtime and Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alucard tends to Sypha and Trevor's wounds after a nice evening, and Alucard has a nightmare. 
> 
> This chapter deals with a lot of darker themes, and focuses a lot on Alucard and what he is going through.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for this Chapter!!  
> PTSD  
> Nightmares  
> Violence  
> Depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter needs some warnings. It gets dark. 
> 
> Also, just so everyone kind of gets an idea of how I am writing this and the direction I plan on taking it: 
> 
> This story will be focusing on the healing process and how hard it can be to recover from something as serious as sexual assault. I notice a good amount of these stories on AO3 have Alucard recover very quickly when Sypha and Trveor return, which is totally fine, but I will be delving into the longer recovery process and how tough it may be for some people.
> 
> If that is not something you are interested in, there are many, many other wonderful fics out there to indulge in and I encourage you to read something you will enjoy! 
> 
> Thank you for taking time out of your day to even read a silly little thing like this. Hope you're all doing well.
> 
> <3  
> Boo

After much storytelling from Trevor and Sypha of the past few weeks and months, as well as a nice hearty meal and a healthy amount of wine, a quiet pause falls over the room. After a moment, Alucard says, "Well, this has been a treat, and I would love to hear more another time, but you need to take your hunter to bed before he passes out ass up in the main hall. You've traveled far. Go rest. I'll clean all of this up." The tension has left a little due to a slight overindulgence of wine, and the thought that his friends are truly here has settled in.

"When you're done, you should come an' join us, Alucard," Trevor slurs, smirking and lolling his head to the side.

The vampire freezes a little while he collects plates and dining ware. "Join? No. No, you wouldn't want that. Besides, you're drunk and reek of foul body odor, piss and blood."

"But what if maybe I didn't? What if I bathed?" Trevor stands and slouches his shoulders, leaning towards Alucard while pointing a finger at him.

"Sypha, go take him to bed. Now I know he's truly too far into the cups. Offering to bathe? Who have you dragged back here?" Scoffing, Alucard takes the plates and begins washing them in the sink.

Sypha laughs. "Well, I'm not really sure. Maybe he hit his head so hard he forgot himself! We do need to get that taken care of though. Come on Trevor."

"Wait, get what taken care of?" Alucard turns to look at the man Sypha has hoisted up to help carry him to the room.

The mage lifts Trevor's hair a little and says, "We had a run in with some night creatures about a day or so ago. He hit his head pretty hard on a rock that night and I got bitten pretty badly. Could… and I know you might not know much, but could you help us find anything in your father's library or the Belmont library on how to fix this up?"

Alucard pauses for a moment. He stares at the bump on Trevor's head and the bandages around Sypha, guilt about not even asking about what had happened creeping up over his back and gripping his shoulders. "I- Yes, yes of course. I have been reading quite a lot of my father's old books about medicine. Hurry. We need to get you both to a bathtub to wash up. I can collect some herbs and other such materials to slow infection and help him. He may be concussed." 

Leaving the sink full of water, the plates lying half submerged in bubbles and swirls of oil, Alucard ushers the two out of the kitchen and towards the room. The fear that his friends' lives may be in grave jeopardy due to their injuries makes something click and he pushes his other fears and anxieties away for the time being. Helping his friends come first. He can work through his other shit after they're safe and well.

Sypha nods quickly and half drags Trevor up the stairs to their room, then gets him inside and begins filling the bath with water. "Undress yourself," she orders, heating the water with her magic to make things quicker.

The Belmont blushes a little. "Well when you put it that way-"

"Just do it, you idiot," Sypha grumbles.

Trevor does as he is told, removing his shirt and trousers sloppily, but getting the job done.

"Get in." Alucard appears at the door with a multitude of different items in his arms. "Both of you. Now. Sypha, remove your bandages. I need to see what happened." 

Sypha nods, shedding her blue robes and underclothes, then unraveling a stale set of bandages from sticky, blistery looking bites. She steps into the hot bath, hissing a little at the heat. Trevor follows her lead and mimics her even when entering. 

The water wraps them inna warm, comforting embrace that their aching bodies had longed for after months of traveling and sleeping on the forest floor, or in the back of a hard wooden carriage. The weathered, cracked soles of Sypha's feet begin to tingle a little from the warm caress of the water, Trevor's muscles begin to loosen all the tension built up from endless fighting and stress.

Seeing relief and comfort wash over the faces of his dearly beloved friends, Alucard steps forward and takes a small towel, dousing it in hot water, then says, "Trevor, lean your head back. I'm going to clean your wound." 

"Whatever," comes a slurred and mumbled reply as Trevor leans his head back.

Alucard presses gently around the bump to rid the area of dried blood and dirt. As he sits there, tending to the wound his friend sustains, the vampire realizes something. Yes, humanity has wronged him and his family time and time again, but even after all of that, he still finds it a necessity to help others. With Sumi and Taka, he had felt the need to aid them in their quest, and when that was twisted and demented, he felt a gaping wound in his chest. Now that his old compatriots have returned, he feels it necessary to help them, even though they left him at probably the worst time they could have.

Helping people is what he feels maybe he was made to do. 

Sypha watches him closely, her train of thought falling off its tracks and landing on another line, thoughts garbled and jumping from one thought to the next in quick succession, reeling in all that has happened in the past few hours.

_Tomorrow we need to take the bodies down outside. I don't know who they were or what they did to deserve such a fate, but it isn't right. I'm sure it was bad whatever it was, so it would benefit Alucard most of all. This isn't good for his mental state, especially with the one he is in now. He looks like he hasn't eaten in days, weeks, maybe- did he eat tonight? No.. no, I don't think he did. And he is so pale! Well.. paler than usual. He needs a bath… He also did not talk much during dinner. We told him what happened with us but.. never once did he say anything other than stuff about books and reading… Hang on.. What is that on his neck? Wait when did that get there? Is that a scar? Did he get in a fight? Why did it scar? He regenerates at an accelerated pace, doesn'the?_

The thoughts go around and around her mind, just trying to fully grasp everything that happened and the pieces she is missing from the full picture.

A touch of a warm cloth against her shoulder, then warm water pouring over her pulls her out of her thought spiral and she glances over her shoulder into the eyes of the man standing behind her, his dull, gold hair brushing her skin before he tucks it behind his ears and then ties it into a low ponytail behind him.

"I startled you. Are you alright?" Alucard asks gently, taking some herbs and other medicinal plants, adding some water and crushing them in a mortar to make a sort of healing paste.

"Hmm? Yes. Sorry. Did you say something?" 

"Don't be. I just was asking if you needed anything. Now, this may sting a little," the vampire says softly, pressing the paste into the infected puncture wounds in her skin.

Sypha grips the edge of the bathtub, sucking a harsh breath in through her teeth. "Fucking hell that hurts!" She grumbles. 

"I know. It will for a moment, but I found a medicinal recipe in one of the Belmont books some time ago, a treatment for different types of infected bites and wounds. There, fortunately, was one for the bites of night creatures," Alucard replies, packing each mark with some of the paste.

Sypha winces, but relief begins to flood each wound and she nods. "Thank you."

"It's nothing."

"No, Alucard, really. Thank you. For everything you have done for us." Sypha turns a little to look at his eyes.

Alucard's eyes change a little, from dull to a little brighter, but back again. "Again, it's nothing."

"Your healing of an infection so close to my heart it probably could have killed me is nothing? Or treating Trevor's head wound so that he isn't concussed is nothing? Or feeding us until we are full and satisfied without the bat of an eye is nothing?"

"I- I suppose not. I guess I mean it isn't something you should thank me for," Alucard mutters, letting the herbs soak into her wounds for a moment.

"It is something we should thank you for! You saved us. Thank you." Sypha smiles a warm, genuine smile and Alucard's heartstrings tug a little at the sight of her friendly face.

"Sypha, please, just… drop it," Alucard says quietly, breaking eye contact after a moment. _They're just doing this to get back on their feet so they can leave you again._

Something painful pulls at Sypha's heart when she hears him say that, like he didn't deserve thanks or genuine appreciation. The darkness and grey clouds behind his eyes tell her a story she can't quite see, but his words have begun painting a picture for her. Something tells her he believes he doesn't deserve appreciation or gratitude because it is something he is expected to do with no thanks due.

Her mind flickers back to the bodies on stakes out front.

Warm water runs over her chest and back, taking her away from that thought and she sighs gently. "I am still going to thank you no matter what you say, Alucard."

"Okay. You're welcome. Now wash your hair and I'll bandage your wounds when you're done. I'm going to take this one to bed." Alucard nods toward Trevor, whose head lays back and a soft snore falls from parted lips, chest rising and falling slowly, rhythmically. 

"Are you sure? Alucard, you- no offense, but you look and smell like you need a bath too. I could help you!" Sypha offers quickly, wanting both to help and both to see if that mark on his neck has more to it.

Alucard doesn't stop removing Trevor from the bathtub, but his heart does jump in his chest a little at the thought of someone even seeing him shirtless, let alone fully naked. "No. I'm fine," he says quickly, toweling the man dry and keeping in mind to be courteous and considerate around the more intimate areas of the Belmont. 

"Come on, it'll be nice! I can even-" 

"I said no, Sypha!" Alucard snaps. He picks Trevor up bridal style and carries the man to the door. "Just wash your hair. I'll be back in a moment." 

The woman blinks a little, taken aback by the outburst. She takes a moment to think, but sinks into the emptier bath and douses her head with warm, herb-filled water, then sits back up and runs some of the lavender soap Alucard brought into the washroom through her hair. "Something is very wrong…"

Alucard holds Trevor to his side, trying to ignore the sensation of another body next to his own, and he pulls the bedclothes back, tucking the brunette fighter under them. He stares at Trevor for a moment, watching his chest rise and fall, looking over his facial features with a sense of longing and relief almost, and the pulse in his neck beating slowly. 

Alucard tears his eyes away from him. "You monster. What the fuck are you doing? What are you thinking?! You do not need it," he snarls at himself, balling his fist up at the thought. "Besides. They're probably leaving soon anyway."

He returns to Sypha and finds her out of the tub already, drying herself off. "I'm ready for bandages if you still want to put them on. I can do it myself too, if that's easier."

Seeing the woman naked sends an image of Sumi's body through his head and Alucard takes a step away. "Um.. no, no.. Can you please cover your body?"

"What?" Sypha pauses.

"Cover yourself, please," Alucard says numbly.

"I did not realize my womanly charms were too much for you to handle," Sypha teases lightly with a sly smile, and she wraps the towel around her body and sits on a small stool.

Alucard doesn't respond and instead quickly begins wrapping her shoulder and arm in fresh bandages, with newly applied healing paste. "Leave that overnight then wash it out in the morning. Rebandage it without the medicine and see how it feels. Tonight the infected pustules should drain and you need to clean it out in the morning so they don't reinfect you," Alucard says quickly, then stands and leaves the room, his mind reeling.

Sypha stands dumbfounded at Alucard's behavior. "Tomorrow. We will figure this out tomorrow," and she slips into bed, falling into a strange night of rest.

\-------

In the old study, Alucard pulls the large chair his father would spend countless hours sitting in, staring at flames in the hearth, up to the desk that sits near the door. 

He takes a quill and a jar of ink and some parchment his mother used to write notes on and begins to sketch a picture of Sypha and Trevor's faces, but soon, the drawing becomes distorted from the tears falling onto the page. The ink begins to run, spidering out from the droplets of water, so Alucard takes the page and drops it to the floor next to him, taking a new sheet and creating something new. 

The lines are sketchy, messy, and in no real order. The picture seems haunted almost, with a lost soul in search of something it cannot grasp. It has a loneliness about it, a dark loneliness inside the inks that mark the page that cannot be explained in words. The image depicts a genderless face screaming with tears running down its face, a hand stretched out to reach something it cannot grasp. 

More tears drip onto the parchment and finally the quill falls from Alucard's hand as he covers his face, running his hands through his hair and weeps. Tears run down his arms and fall off of his elbows as he sits back in the chair, unable to continue.

Several minutes pass and he wipes his eyes, standing slowly. 

The vampire caps the bottle and leaves the room, closing the door behind him before heading to his own bedroom.

In this room, the bed does not face the door. 

Alucard enters and changes into a nightgown, then gets under the covers and falls asleep to the sound of his own misery.

Nightmares bring a retelling of the events of the night two weeks prior, but this time replacing them with Sypha and Trevor. The pair opens the door, telling him they are rewarding him. Trevor's large, strong, muscular build and Sypha's smaller, softer and toned build walking up to his bed and laying him on his back. 

Alucard blushes and closes his eyes for just a moment before a searing pain rockets through him and he looks up to see Sypha and Trevor staked on posts, blood falling off of their fingers, eyes bulging from their heads and teeth punctures in their throats, with Sumi and Taka hovering over him blades in their hands. He finds himself unable to move, seared and burned under the silver strands of imprisonment as he tries to escape, the dead bodies of his real friends beginning to flicker and morph and change into demented, haunted screaming ghosts and shadows as they writhe on the stakes. Their limbs begin to shake and flail, eyes rolling back further as they jerk on the posts skewering their bodies.

_"No! Sypha! Trevor! Please don't leave me again!"_

To his right, he hears a scoff. Taka eyes him with a half-lidded desire that makes the hairs on Alucard's neck spring up in fear and disgust, and the younger man begins to raise a blade above his head. "They will never love you like we do. We love you Alucard. Let us show you how much we love you!" With a blade raised above his head, Taka's face deforms and reforms into his father's face after Alucard had run the stake into his heart, rotten and decayed, dried and dusty with bloody tears pouring from the eye sockets as Dracula's voice emerges. "'Our boy. I'm killing our boy, Lisa. Your greatest gift to me, and I'm… killing him.'"

Alucard tries to shout for his father, for Trevor and Sypha, for his mother, for anyone, really, but his voice gurgles in his throat as a metallic flavor fills his mouth and throat.

He looks over and sees Sumi with a bloody blade in hand and malicious, murderous intent behind her eyes. "You lied to us. You lied to us, Alucard. You are a liar! You are a liar! You are like everyone else!"

 _I tried not to be! I… I never lied to you.._ He tries to say, but soon begins to choke on the blood blocking his airway from the wound in his sternum. 

All of the faces in the room slowly begin to chuckle and laugh, glaring down at his vulnerable position, the silver strands still searing into his pale flesh. The vampire begins to look around in a panic and watches as the skin and muscles begin sloughing off of the bodies into bloody piles around him. Every skull begin to cackle and then the long fingers adorned with sharp, pointed fingernails his father's ashen grey hands possessed begin reaching out for his face as he continues to suffocate from lack of oxygen.

"No, please!" Alucard shouts, sitting bolt upright in an icy, frigid sweat just as the thumb nails were about to drive into his eyes and blind him, coughing from how hard he had been crying. 

The man curls up into a tight ball under the blankets and covers his face, unable to fall back asleep for the rest of the night, longing for someone to be there with him, for comfort, for stability, for something he can hold onto, but… nothing happens. 

After many hours of laying in his bed, Alucard finally gets up and decides it best to forget about the nightmare and start making a nice breakfast for the duo to wake up to.

At least it could keep his mind occupied on something productive instead of the past he so desired to forget and wish it never had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how this one is going to be taken, but I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> If any of you are dealing with something like recovery from anything, know you are not alone, and I care about you. I know this sounds weird coming from a writer posting about castlevania, but I really care, and know there are people on your side. If you are ever dealing with something like depression or anxiety, recovery, PTSD etc. Know there are people to talk to and who can help. 
> 
> I'm not a therapist, but I will absolutely listen. You are not alone in this.
> 
> Stay safe, take care of yourself. You're wonderful.


	4. New Clothes and Painful Hunger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After making breakfast for the duo, Alucard finds himself in his study, starving to near death. Trevor and Sypha hear his cries for help and bring him what he needs.
> 
> Alucard also starts opening up a little.
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> Blood Drinking  
> Angst  
> Depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for joining me in another chapter of this story! I'm still not too confident in my abilities to write a coherent, well paced story, but I have another part for you guys to read if you like! Thank you again for taking the time to read this little story of mine! You're lovely!  
> Dont really know about this one, lads. But I hope you enjoy it anyway!
> 
> <3   
> Boo

Sunlight falls through the large window and presses gentle, warm kisses on Sypha's cheeks, waking her from her sleep.

She stands slowly and stretches a little, yawning, rubbing her eyes and turning out of bed to go to the bathroom and clean her injuries. 

Standing in front of a long, tall mirror in the bathroom, Sypha begins unwrapping her bandages, and notices there is no pain or stickiness. After removing them completely, her skin is a little unsightly to look at for the time being, but after washing away drainage and pus, the bites look so much better than they did before. 

"My God, this is amazing," she gasps, eyes lighting up as she runs her fingers gently over the marks.

As she admires Alucard's handiwork on her body, Trevor walks into the room rubbing his head.

"Good morning, Trevor," Sypha smiles as brightly as the sun from her window, walking up to him and hugging him close to her, bare chests pressed flush in the chilly stone bathroom.

"Morning," Trevor grumbles, rubbing her back gently and returning her embrace, burying his head in her soft strawberry hair. "You smell so nice…" he mutters quietly to himself, not intending to say that aloud.

"You do, too. We don't smell like blood, smoke and sweat for once in a couple of weeks or more! That was.. really nice of Alucard to do for us last night. How is your head?" Sypha asks, looking up at his scruffy, scarred face. 

"Feels fine. It was kind of weird though, him doing that. He didn't want us anywhere near here and then not even a day goes by and he offers to bathe us."

"Actually, you offered to bathe yourself for him, Trevor."

"What? I wouldn't do that. Never." Trevor breaks away and crosses his arms.

"Well, that's what I thought too, but the alcohol in you last night said differently. Hey, I know how you feel about him, so you don't need to be so defensive around me. You know I feel similarly and we.. we had that talk about it a while ago, remember?" 

"What, about if we felt the same about Alucard and he felt the same about us, would we be fine with a threesome? Or a… what did you call it? A poladamatus thing? Relationship?"

"Polyamorous. But yes, so don't be embarrassed that you wanted to impress him while you were drunk. Or offer something nice to him. Look, we should get ready. I think we should get rid of those bodies today," Sypha says, giving his lip a quick peck before taking a look inside the wardrobe, just in case there was something fresh to wear.

A small breath of happiness fills her chest when she sees some outfits inside the dark wood closet.

On one side, there are various men's shirts of different styles, all very clean and crisply pressed with trousers stacked neatly beneath them. On the other side hang a few dresses as well as some small tops and leggings near those. 

"Trevor, look! Clothes!" Sypha says excitedly, pulling out a lovely cream colored gown and holding it up to her. "How beautiful is this!"

Trevor's lips curl a little and he smiles at the sight. "You are, yes and I'm sure that dress would look nice on you too."

"I know," Sypha chuckles, then begins to unpack the dress to put it on, blushing the softest of pinks.

He pulls out a white shirt with a deep V neck and long puffy sleeves. It's a little more extravagant than Alucard's typical comfortable garb. "Jesus, who wore this? A fucking pirate?" 

"Probably. You could be pirate Captain Trevor Belmont of the Black Sea, Crusader for Peace and Beer!" Sypha salutes him triumphantly. 

Trevor gives a scoff and he puts it back and finds a tan tunic like shirt, not unlike his own, and puts it on over his head. The fabric is quite snug and very flattering against his broad chest and rippling muscles but isn't uncomfortable in the slightest. He tries on a pair of pants, but finds they are far, far too tight to fit his large, muscly thighs and calves, so he just settles for his own pants.

"Looking good, Belmont," Sypha comments, swaying up to him while watching the fabric of the gown move with her body.

Trevor looks her over and raises his eyebrows a little, never really having seen her in clothes so form-fitting. Her typical chunky blue robes never really showed her soft curves and elegant features, but this did wonderfully. 

"Um.. yeah, you too," he says quickly, clearing his throat. "Now uh, I'm fucking starving, so let's go eat, yeah?" 

A small giggle falls from Sypha's lips and she links arms with Trevor. "Sounds good to me, Captain."

\-------

Alucard has been preparing breakfast since four in the morning and the kitchen smells amazing. Fresh bread was made, a couple of wild game birds were killed, plucked, and roasted in herbs, oils, and spices, and he made a sweet berry compote to go on the side. 

Everything smells so fantastic and the castle's lower levels now have a fragrant scent roaming the halls, breathing a little life into the cold empty space inside.

Trevor and Sypha enter the kitchen to find their friend in the same clothes he wore the day before, unwashed and looking more exhausted today than yesterday. If it is even possible, Alucard's typical ivory white skin looks paler and even a little grey, as if no blood circulates through his body, and his slender hands now appear skeletal and bony.

"Good morning, Alucard," Sypha smiles, bouncing into the kitchen, "Wow! This is beautiful! Thank you so much for making breakfast!"

"Morning. It's no trouble really." The vampire glances up from setting dinnerware on the table as he makes sure both plates are perfect and his heart skips a little. 

Seeing two of the people he cares about in old clothes from his past just makes him feel like they belong there. With him. In the castle. Sypha in one of his mother's old gowns he remembers fondly and a shirt his father used to adorn when they would spar and his father taught him how to fight with a blade out wherever they were at the time. But he tries to quickly get rid of the thought. _They don't belong here. They belong out there, saving the world and helping those in need… Not sitting here, landlocked in isolation._

"Well, are you gonna eat with us or starve to death?" Trevor asks the vampire expectantly, taking a seat at one of the dining spots.

"No, I already ate," Alucard lies.

"Really? Because your skinny ass looks like it hasn't seen a proper meal in days," Trevor says, tucking into his plate as Sypha sits next to him and begins to dine as well. "What did you eat?"

"I didn't realize you were my caregiver, Belmont. I said I already ate," Alucard says shortly.

"Sypha's personality rubs off on you eventually. But you, frankly, aren't looking well. At all. When was the last time you had a proper meal? Like this one?" Trevor gestures the plate in front of his. "Even a fucking morsel of something?"

"It doesn't matter, alight? I said I already ate. Drop the damn subject."

"Fucking hell, fine. Starve to death or whatever, I don't give a shit."

Sypha hits his arm while Alucard looks away, glaring at the floor. "I'll be in my study," he says, stalking out of the kitchen.

"Trevor!"

"What? You're thinking it too, aren't you? The man's fucking thin as a rail!"

"Well, yes I agree, but don't tell him you don't give a shit if he starved to death, you idiot!"

"He knows I don't mean it!"

"Does he? That reaction didn't seem like one where he knows you don't mean it."

"Fucking… whatever. I'll go fucking apologize or whatever you're going to tell me to do after we eat," Trevor grumbles.

"Good," Sypha nods, and the pair begin to eat in a tense, strained silence.

Alucard meanwhile storms into his study and slams the door, getting out sheet of parchment and a small piece of charcoal from the hearth, then begins to heatedly sketch a malnourished body with long wavy hair and swords pointing in all directions at it before crumbling it into a ball and throwing it behind his shoulder. His hunger, both human and vampiric, gnaws at his stomach painfully, but Alucard ignores it.

Papers litter this room, sketches, poetry, writings, doodles, drawings, all over the floor in various states, some hung on the walls or propped up next to a painting. Many are balled up, torn to pieces, ripped or have different degrees of water damage. 

He scribbles on a couple more pieces, just trying to let out some of the build up, from last night and before then, and his fears. Each one ends up on the floor, discarded and abandoned, but it feels good to get some of his boiling, dark feelings out of his body.

Alucard stops for a moment. Still breathing heavily, coming back down from his frustration and pent up emotions, he stands up too quickly the vampire's legs buckle. He tries catching himself on the chair or the desk, but his fingers slip and he lands hard on his knees.

He lets out a painful, ragged gasp as a pang of hunger and pain from his two point landing hits him so hard his vision fades a little and he breathes heavily. 

_Do not cry for help. You don't need it. They're here to eat your food, wear your clothes and leave. You don't need them._

His knees throbbed with the pain of hitting them so hard and he could tell something is really, horribly, terribly wrong. 

When functioning at his highest performing abilities, Alucard can take almost any hit from any number of creatures any number of times and get right back up. Hell, his father bashed his skull into a stone floor so many times the floor shattered beneath the sheer force of it and he got up a little dazed but nothing more.

But the fact that something as little as falling and bumping his knees on the floor causing him to feel a horrible pain is worrying, and the implications of just how weak he is now almost hurting more than the actual blow itself.

Tears fill his eyes and he takes a shallow breath, forcing himself to stand. "S… Sypha..!" He calls weakly, taking steps toward the door while holding onto anything he can to steady himself. Beads of sweat begin to dampen his brow and soak his shirt as he manages to take a step outside the study.

"T-Trevor…! Please!" Alucard continues to try and walk, but he stumbles on a piece of loose debris from the battles fought in the castle and he crashes painfully to the floor, lying on his side. 

_I am going to die… I am going to die and the last thing I did was snap at them. How horrid is that?_

The vampire holds his head and his stomach, curling in on himself and the pain eventually becomes so unbearable, he vomits. Nothing but bile that burns his throat and stings his cracked, dry lips come up. And after that, nothing comes up and all.

Sypha's worry-laden voice echoes through the halls after a moment. "Alucard? Alucard where-"

Hurrying up the stairs in an anxious bustle comes the Speaker magician and the Belmont right of her heels. "My god! Alucard!" She rushes to his side and kneels next to him, brushing his hair from his face.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Trevor shouts. "Wh.. Sypha what the fuck do we do?"

"Eat… I-" Alucard rasps, coughing aggressively. He hates that he needs to ask for help, but he says, "Please.."

"Yes of course! I think there's some bread and meat left-" Sypha begins to turn and point toward the kitchen

"Not- not that… not yet.. I can't.. I need.." Alucard grabs her arm and turns her wrist upward.

Trevor's face darkens. "Oh no. No, no, no. I thought you weren't a vampire. Didn't think you needed that shit to survive. Theres no fucking way I'm letting that happen."

"Then.. let me d-die. You said.. you didn't give a shit anyway. Shouldn't have expected… anything else… from a Belmont.." Alucard wheezes, curling up and dry heaving again, his vision really starting to fade, sounds too.

Trevor's heart wrenches a little and he wants to fire something back but Sypha stops him, a tear-stained fury set in her voice. "Both of you stop it right now! Trevor, help me sit him up. He needs this to survive. He's never asked anything of us, so let's just fucking help instead of arguing over petty shit when Alucard could die!" 

Both of them silence themselves while the woman looks frantically down at the sleeves of the gown and feels for any exposed skin she could offer when Trevor stops her. "You're right. Here, I'm easier access, I'm bigger and have more.. blood in me than you.." he says awkwardly and hesitantly.

Alucard's breathing begins to slow and his vision begins to blur as he is sat up in a haze of disillusion. The pulses of his friends are all he can hear at this given moment, except for a small amount of garbled jargon from his friends.

A large hand suddenly enters his vision and a wrist too. Alucard barely gets out , "Forgive me," before he weakly presses his fangs into Trevor's wrist.

The hunter winces and his hand flexes a little, and he cannot believe what he is doing, but he realizes it doesn't bother him as much as he made it out to have. After all, this was one of the small fantasies that flickered through his mind the first time they met in the catacombs when Alucard had punched him across the room, pushed him back onto the stairs, yanked his head back by his hair and bared his fangs at the hunter, reminding him that, even when stabbed, he could still rip his throat out. The hunter always had some desire to know what it felt like to be bitten and drank from.

Either way, this still felt odd. It didn't feel at all like he imagined it would. 

Trevor imagined it to be ravenous, animalistic and needy, but the way Alucard went about this, even in such a state of malnourishment, was gentle and slow, like sipping soup when sick. The man may just be too weak to be ravenous.

After what felt like forever to the Belmont, Alucard finally lifted away from the man's arm, immediately covering his mouth and pushing Trevor away to hide his shame. "That… should get me through until I can find some wild animal to hunt."

Sypha takes the vampire's hand in her own. "Alucard, don't be humble or harm yourself more by stopping yourself now. You know as well as we do that an animal won't be enough. Please hear me when I say this to you: You cannot help and take care of others if you do not help and take care of yourself first. That is just the way it works. And you can tell us these things when they come up. You come first when it comes to your needs and I know it may feel shameful or wrong right now, but trust me when I tell you that you being here with us, alive and healthy is far more important than a little blood loss, okay?" 

Alucard feels hot tears pouring down his cheeks and he presses the heel of his palm to his forehead, nodding slowly. "How do you f- feel?" He croaks at Trevor. 

"Hmm? Oh. Good. I'm.. I'm good. I'm alright. Sypha is right. We care about you. Just fucking.. do your shit, okay? I'll let you know when I'm lightheaded," Trevor mumbles. 

With more coherent thoughts floating through his head, Alucard nods, looks over Trevor's arm and gently stretches it out before him, taking a skeletal finger and running it over a vein in the crook of his arm. 

Trevor feels uneasiness well in his chest, but when Alucard still shows no sign of being a savage hunter using him for a meal and nothing more, the hunter begins to feel the nerves ease away. 

"I am going to go prepare him something to eat in the kitchen," Sypha whispers, then stands and heads to the kitchen to make a plate of something for Alucad to have for breakfast.

A single nod is all she needs to tell her he understands.

Revitalizing energy begins to flow into Alucard and small sounds fall from the corners of his lips every so often as he can feel his strength growing once more. 

Several moments pass, Trevor watching him with both curiosity and a little disgust. "Alright. I- I'm feeling it now." Trevor says, his head swimming a little.

Alucard immediately stops and wipes his mouth with his sleeve, breathing heavily, the color and life returning to his cheeks. "Thank you," he whispers, averting his gaze. 

Trevor pulls his sleeve down and sits up next to Alucard against the wall. "Yeah, yeah. Look, I meant to come up and apologize, you know. I told you I wouldn't have given a shit if you starved to death. I didn't realize you were, you know, starving to death. I didn't mean it. I was pissed off that you were refusing to eat and you looked like you weren't taking care of yourself," Trevor mumbles.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I had to do this to you.. and I shouldn't have said what I did about you being a Belmont." 

"Well, I shouldn't have been so quick to judge you being half vampire and all. You're not human. I shouldn't have expected you not to need blood to survive." 

"I… I don't need it to survive. I think that that, coupled with the fact I haven't eaten anything in a few… days.. was very detrimental to my health and it got so bad I needed it," Alucard admits, still not reaching the gaze of the man next to him.

"Huh, well now you're a little better, right? Come on, Sypha is making you something in the kitchen," Trevor says, standing and offering a hand to Alucard, who takes it, following Trevor's suit, and wobbles a little on his feet. "Whoa, easy there, tiger, it's not a race."

Alucard nods slowly and the pair begin to make their way back to the kitchen. Once inside, a nice plate is waiting for him and Sypha washes her hands in the basin.

Up one hearing the boys enter, Sypha turns and smiles in relief, "You're okay!" She runs up to Alucard and hugs him tightly.

The man freezes and Sypha can tell by this rigidity she overstepped a boundary. "Oh, I'm sorry, Alucard, I should have asked you first. Please, sit," she says, pulling out a chair.

"Thank you." Alucard sits and even though he wants to eat, it feels like he can't.

_Just take a bite. You need to._

So he does, and it tastes fantastic. Soon, within the span of maybe a few minutes, the meal is gone and Alucard daubs his mouth with a napkin.

"Thank you. For everything." Alucard sits in the chair, staring at the empty plate before him.

"Of course. You're looking a lot better now, you know," Sypha smiles.

"I… I feel better." Alucard nods, standing and taking his plate to the sink.

"Hey Alucard? I have a question. It's been bugging me for a bit now." Trevor stands with his arms crossed, leaning against the counter.

"What about?" Alucard's mind races with a few questions his friends may have regarding him and his living space.

"Back there. I dunno, this may offend you, but I was wondering why you weren't like… I dunno, just the way you fed, it like- no see that's weird. I guess I want to know why you weren't-"

"Feeding off you like a ferocious monster? Not like any feeding you've read in your books, was it?" Alucard stands and takes his plate to the sink.

Trevor nods.

"Well, here is something you could add to your family's collection. Vampires and their half blooded kin have two different methods of feeding with two different outcomes. One is the way you have read about for decades. The feeding you see most typically is a vampire feeding for pleasure or because they can. The vampire has enough blood in them at that point to sustain them, so they are purely feeding out of want and desire. That is the feeding that is typically described to bring pleasure and euphoria to those involved because when the vampire is feeding, their saliva creates this sort of drug from their own desire. They feel ravenous, hungry and needy, while those they feed from feel desire, pleasure, even. 

"In my case, I was feeding out of necessity. My body recognized I needed a supply to continue to stand, so hopefully you felt no pain, or desire of wanting more from me. I was not feeding out of a desire for blood, but a need to continue living. Will and mindset has something to do with it, too. Some vampires, like those who were in my father's war court, were animalistic hunters, seeing humans as livestock and prey only, while I do not. It depends heavily on the vampire I suppose," Alucard explains, feeling a little disgusted at himself for even having to explain any of this. "That's why it felt different, maybe, than you expected."

"Huh. Didn't know that." Trevor nods a little, everything making a little more sense now.

Sypha chirps in after a moment and says, "I also have a question, Alucard, and you don't have to know the answer, but where… We noticed outside that you-"

Alucard glances up from where he stands, the mere thought of those people making his skin crawl. "Oh that. Just… leave them."

"I don't think that's good for you. Please, let us take them down. You don't have to explain why they're there, yet, or even who they are, but I don't want you to have to think about whatever they did to deserve that fate. Let Trevor and I get rid of them, okay?"

"They are reminders. I want them standing." Alucard rubs the scars on his wrists, glaring darkly at the floor.

"Reminders of what?" Sypha asks him quietly.

"Reminders that I cannot trust anyone."

Sypha and Trevor look at each other and the woman says, "We're going to take them down because you can trust someone. You can trust Trevor and I."

A long, pregnant pause fills the air. 

"Fine. Take them down," Alucard mutters, "but I will not be watching."

Sypha sighs quietly and she nods, "We will make sure you never have to see them again. Get something else to eat while we go do this. We will be very fast."

Alucard gives a dark nod and the pair leave the room quickly to go and take down the decaying decorations left out front while Alucard rummages around to get something else to fill his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading if you got this far! You are so lovely, thank you! Have a lovely day!


	5. Bathtime and Nightmares, Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sypha and Trevor convince Alucard to bathe, and Trevor discovers a little more about what happened in Alucard's past while they were gone. Alucard has some dreams, some nightmares and then turns into a dog and runs off into the night. Stay tuned for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I've been a little uninspired and nervous about this chapter, and work has kept me really busy these past couple days. 
> 
> I really am trying to pin down Trevor and Alucard's quippy dynamic a little better and not stray too far from canon, but man it's tough.
> 
> Sorry about everything! I really hope you enjoy!
> 
> <3  
> Boo

The day at the castle is quiet for the rest of the day after Trevor and Sypha take the bodies down and burn them to ash, taking the remnants and sending them downstream so they are never seen again. 

The sun sets lower into the horizon by the time they're finished, casting long shadows across the land.

"I wonder who they were," Sypha says quietly, dumping a cloth into the river a ways away from the castle.

"Dunno, but they couldn't have been good if Alucard staked them up like his dear old dad did that one time," Trevor shrugs, brushing the soot from his hands.

"I'm sure. I think we need to try to talk to him. We got him to eat and that helped quite a bit, but he needs to bathe and start feeling more like himself again. Something is wrong, Trevor, and I fear it- whatever it is- has a darker hold on him than we may think." She washes the cloth in the river and wrings it out with a strong grip, then folds it to carry back to the castle.

Watching a bird flit from branch to branch in a tree close by, Trevor nods. "I know. He needs to fucking tell us what's wrong so we can help him, you know? Instead of guessing all the time." 

"Let's at least see if we can get him to bathe tonight. He may have gone through something that's too hard to talk about, and you know him. He keeps everything inside until he is alone. He still hasn't told us that much about him or his childhood, or anything he went through. How he grieved for his mother or even his father. And remember, he… Alucard aged very rapidly. He may just be an older teenager, maybe only eighteen or nineteen. His mother died about a year and a half ago, and his father died over six months ago. He watched his own father die by his hand! And he had to deal with that alone… He might not be ready to tell us anything, and we have to be there with him and support him through that. We have to Trevor," Sypha stares at the babbling stream before her, watching the fish swim by and cool, clean water caressing stones as it flows onward. Her heart pounds anxiously in her chest at the thought that they left him with all of that to deal with. She doesn't even know if he had anyone but his mother and father growing up, so maybe the only two people he ever knew, ever loved and cared about are now dead. And he had no one to go to.

The man thinks for a long moment about what she says, staring at the same stream. "I hate that you're right. You make so much sense when I don't want you to. But yeah, we have to just wait… Let's get back to that bastard."

Sypha nods, linking arms with him, and the pair begin heading back to the enormous castle looming high about the world in the light of the setting sun.

\-------

Alucard walks through the large, cavernous, echoing halls of the castle to a very tall balcony leading out of a small room on one of the highest floors. He sits on the very edge of the platform, one leg dangling off, one propped up to rest his elbow on, a cold breeze blowing around him, his hair fluttering in a gentle dance of golden light. He breathes slowly, eyes closed as he lets it out just as slowly as he breathed it in. Peace of mind, for the first time in weeks, washing over him. He feels full with the idea of his friends still here even after he tried pushing them away, his stomach full and happy, and his heart and mind finally at rest for a moment.

The vampire opens his eyes, basking in the light of the sun, and stares out over the ruins of the Belmont hold and the vast land beyond that. He looks behind him and sees the forest behind him, the stream flowing through it, and two small figures walking up to the front doors. 

A moment passes and Alucard finally stands, breathing deeply one last time before turning and walking into the room, down the stairs, and out in a hallway where he bumps into Sypha and Trevor.

"Alucard! We were looking for you," Sypha smiles softly.

"You were? Is everything alright," he asks, mildly concerned.

"No, not at all. We came back to tell you that the bodies are taken care of. You don't have to worry anymore! You're safe," the woman insists. "May I hold your hand?"

Blinking once and tilting his head in what now is mild confusion, Alucard says, "I beg your pardon?"

"May I hold your hand?" Sypha repeats, offering her hand to him.

He looks at it for a moment, reaching to hold it, then a flicker of Sumi and Taka snapping silver bracelets onto his wrists plagues his mind. 

"N.. not at the moment. I'm sorry. Was there a reason why?" Alucard asks.

"I just wanted you to know you are space. I was just going to give it a little squeeze is all."

"I see. My answer remains the same."

"I understand. Thank you for telling me," Sypha says, holding Trevor's hand instead. "I have another question for you."

"Go on?"

"Can you please take a bath? We could help you! You helped us. And we think it would do you a lot of good mentally." 

Alucard gazes down his nose at her. "Really?""

"Oh yes. Look how much better Trevor and I look! I think it would make you feel a lot better to be clean and fresh. And we could help change your bed clothes too so you're sleeping in a nice freshly made bed, too," Sypha offers, eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Yeah. I mean, I got sleep last night. Look at me! I dunno, but Sypha's onto something, Alucard," Trevor chimes in.

Yellow-gold eyes flicker between the pair and a gentle sigh escapes his lips. The excitement and joy in Sypha's voice, the sparkle in her eyes makes Alucard's heart soften a little, then he nods and says, "Well.. if you insist. But I have a condition about the washroom. You will wait outside until I say and… and if I ask you to leave, please do so. Please do not take advantage of this opportunity." 

That last part is whispered partially to himself as his gaze turns to the floor.

"Yeah, of course, whatever you need. What do you take us for? Heathens?" Trevor asks. "Look, I know I'm not your favorite, alright, and I don't listen to you a whole lot, but I'll listen this time. And you know Sypha will too."

"Right…" Alucard trails off, then turns and heads up to his bedroom with the pair tagging along behind him. 

_You.. you're wrong though. You are one of my favorites._

Trevor squeezes Sypha's hand as they follow Alucard, passing by a room with closed doors, the air frigid around it, as if there was a draft. And there is a smell too. Something stale and old. Blood? No. Maybe… It's hard to tell with the few seconds they were there.

Not too long after, they arrive at Alucard's bedroom just as the sun disappears and his hesitant hand hovers over the door handle.

_Get over it, Alucard. You're being foolish and stupid._

He pushes the door open and walks inside, the room cold and dark.

Sypha creates a small fire in her fingers and sends a small flame to all the candles in the room, bringing a little light to the space. 

"Go get ready. Trevor and I will be here changing the bedclothes," Sypha smiles confidently, putting her hands down slowly.

Alucard nods and walks into the washroom. "This.. this will be okay. This will be good.. But that is the same thing you thought about _them_ too. These people… they're different though, right? They certainly have treated me better the last twenty four hours or however long it's been. They… laughed with me and they care about me! They always have. Since day one.." 

Sighing, the vampire lifts his shirt over his head and folds it neatly on a chair by the mirror in the room. Alucard discards his trousers as well, then fills the bath with water and soap to create a large amount of bubbles. 

He turns at one point and sees his reflection in the mirror: scarred, still a little bony and skeletal rather than lean and toned, and pale. Still very pale. Trevor may have saved his life, but he needs more blood than what Trevor or Sypha can give to return to a healthy color.

His lip curls in disgust. "Filthy…" he whispers, then dips long, pale toes into cold water, allowing his body to be consumed in soap and water as he sinks into the bath.

"I… I'm ready," he calls hesitantly.

"Are you sure? You sound unsure," Trevor comments, going to the door.

"I am sure, yes."

Trevor and Sypha walk inside to see Alucard's back facing them, his long golden tresses sweeping across his shoulders and spilling out of the tub.

"Would you like me to warm the water for you?" Sypha asks him softly, walking around to his side.

Alucard sinks lower into the water. "Yes please…"

"Just tell me when!" Walking around the tub, heating it with her fire until he gently asks her to stop there, Sypha warms the bath.

"That's perfect. Thank you," Alucard mutters, placing his arms on the edges to pull himself up a little. 

Noticing long, pink burn scars against pale, alabaster skin, Trevor makes a mental note of them, keeping his tongue held until the moment seems more appropriate. He doesn't really want to get kicked out of the bathroom for asking about personal stuff, but god is he curious.

The scars seem to run up the vampire's arms and onto his chest, recently received but not fresh. Trevor wonders just how far they go.

"Stop staring, Belmont," Alucard grumbles, tucking his arms under the water, bringing bubbles closer.

"May I wash your hair, Alucard?" Sypha asks quickly to redirect the conversation somewhere nicer.

"I-" Alucard glances back at her. "I think I… would like that very much."

The speaker smiles brightly, then says, "Tilt your head into the water. Let's get you cleaned up." 

Alucard does as she asks, lying almost completely on his back in the enormous bathtub, the golden stands spreading out like ink on water, and when he sits back up, the gold plastered to his pale skin gives him this look of ethereal beauty. 

Both Trevor and Sypha are speechless for a moment before the magician begins working lavender soap into his hair, the dull stands beginning to glow more brilliantly under her fingers.

"Your hair is so soft, Alucard," Sypha mumbles to herself mostly, as Trevor just watches silently. 

A very faint blush crawls across Alucard's face, goosebumps trickling down his arms as the sensation of Sypha messing with his hair, and he just quietly replies, "Thank you." 

Her fingers brushing up against his skin make him flinch a little both out of remembrance and fear, but also hypersensitivity and touch-starvation. 

"Do not forget you can tell me to stop if you need me to," Sypha says softly. 

"I don't want you to stop…" Alucard replies, staring half-lidded into the bubbles slowly fizzing away.

Sypha smiles to herself, and up to Trevor who watches the pair together, part of him wishing he could be in Sypha's position.

 _Give it time. You don't even know if he'd like that. Or even likes you enough to do something like that. Besides, it.. it would be awkward, right? Trying to tell him how I feel.. he'd probably think I was joking. How do I tell him that? Not now, obviously, but.. I would like to be with him. Sypha knows. She's okay with it. But.. isn't that taboo? Two.. two men together, and a woman as well? That… That isn't normal. But I want it to be.. Oh shut it, Trevor. That's stupid. Just stop._

Thoughts ricochet around the Belmont's mind and he wishes they would just stop for a little while, but with the vampire in a bath before him, as well as his partner in crime and lover, it's hard to think of anything else.

An image flickers through Trevor's mind of him lying on his back, shirtless with Alucard freshly bathed draped over his chest and Sypha at his side. The man imagines what it would be like to run his fingers through soft, silky golden strands as the vampire breathed softly against his chest, holding him tight.

By the time Trevor stops thinking about these things, the bubbles have almost disappeared completely, and Alucard feels a bit more comfortable and safe in the duo's presence. Sypha finishes up playing with his hair and she gives his shoulders a gentle squeeze. 

"Alright. I think you're done. Come on, Trevor, let's let him get out. We will say goodnight when you are in your room. We will be waiting for you there," says a soft and gentle voice.

"Thank you. Both of you." Alucard looks up at Trevor and then back at Sypha with bright golden eyes feeling clean and refreshed, feeling a little more like himself again.

"I didn't do anything," Trevor mumbles, walking toward the door.

"Precisely," comes a quiet reply. 

Sypha and Trevor leave the vampire to his own for now, sitting on the bed to wait for him to finish up.

Rising out of the bath, draining the water, Alucard dries his hair quickly, stretching his long limbs and sighing contentedly as he dresses himself in a pale white nightgown, then steps out into the room.

Trevor and Sypha stand at the same time, looking him over, noticing the same scars on his legs that appeared on his arms. Trevor makes note to ask Sypha about it when they're alone in their room. 

Alucard walks up to them, meets them at their standing place, and takes a hand in each of his. 

"I really appreciate what you are doing for me. Thank.. thank you. For coming back," he says quietly.

Joy swells in Sypha's heart as she sees the way Alucard holds himself now: straighter posture, less sluggish, and even his voice sounds back to normal. Sypha squeezes his hand in hers, holding it tightly as if she thought by letting go, she would lose him for good.

Trevor stares at the blonde, taken aback by the gesture. "Well, we found ourselves missing your vampire-y ass. We couldn't help ourselves."

Alucard chuckles, "Is that so? Well, I missed your human..y.. asses," he says awkwardly.

"You can try a little harder than that. Really? That was absolute shit. You come back with 'human-y asses?' My god, you're rusty," Trevor smirks, rolling his eyes. 

"Well you didn't give me much to work with, dipshit," Alucard fires back.

Sypha shakes her head, "And so it begins. Nice to see you're feeling a little better."

Dropping their hands, Alucard nods. "Thank you. It feels nice to be clean again."

The speaker nods slowly and says, "Well, sleep well, my friend. You know where to find us if you need us." 

"I do. Rest well," he replies, bowing his head, a hand over his heart.

The pair head to the door, and Sypha walks out, but Trevor pauses, staring at the door jamb. "Hmm? Yeah, go on ahead Sypha. I'll meet you there."

"Is.. everything alright?" Alucard asks, anxiety spiking in his chest.

Trevor debates for a minute, a long minute, and finally says, "I think so. I guess I had something I wanted to ask you, but I just.. I dunno. Stupid, really. Never mind. G'night."

"W-Wait!" 

"Hmm?"

"What were you going to say?" Alucard takes a hesitant step back. 

"I.. dunno," Trevor lies, shifting his feet and looking away. "Make breakfast in the morning. That's all. Your food's good." 

The vampire crosses his arms. "Trevor, you're a lying piece of shit. What were you going to say?"

A breathy scoff falls from the fighter's lips. "Fine then, your cooking sucks a night creature's dick." 

Alucard steps closer, gripping his arms tightly, sinking into his shoulders slightly. "Please… You're making me nervous, Belmont. What did you want to say?"

Trevor glances at Alucard, then away and shakes his head, stepping toward the door. "Just, get some sleep. We've all had a busy day today."

A whoosh of air fills the room. The hunter finds no ground below his feet and it is harder to breathe than a moment prior due to the pale fingers digging into his throat and cutting off his air supply, lifting him from the floor.

"Belmont, you don't understand why, but I need you to tell me! Right fucking now!"

Alucard's skin pales and his eyes flash black and gold, all of his teeth sharpening into long fangs for just a brief moment before he returns to a normal state, his scars burning a little and he steps away, placing Trevor back on the floor to the brunette's surprise. His pale hands cover his face and Alucard looks on to Trevor with frightened eyes, the hunter a little dazed more than anything.

Tears begin dripping slowly down Alucard's cheeks and he looks up at Trevor. "I- I'm so sorry.. please, go… I shouldn't keep you. Breakfast will be ready for you in the morning," he whispers painfully.

Trevor blinks a little and rubs his neck where Alucard's fingers held him and he says, "Alright. Fine, I'll tell you." He glowers at the man across the way and takes a step towards him.

"I was going to say that the reason Sypha and I came back is because we fucking missed you. Like _really_ missed you and we want to fucking stay here with you. I don't know what the fuck happened to you, or what the fuck the bodies out front were, or where the fuck you got those scars from, and you dont have to fucking tell me, but if you get to withhold your shit from me, I get to withhold mine from you, alright, vampire? You don't get any super special treatment because we dont fucking know what happened to you! Maybe if you talked to us a little more, I'd tell you what going on in my head, but you aren't giving us jack shit, so don't get heated when I go to walk out if you don't tell us a damn thing about what happened in the last six months or whatever it's been since Dracula's death. I've been pleasant, I think, and nice, and fucking- I've held off on you joking around, throwing insults like we usually do because Sypha says you're not doing well!" Trevor snaps, pointing fingers and stepping towards Alucard slowly.

Frozen in place, tears streaming, Alucard whispers, "I'm sorry! I-"

"You know what? Sit down. We're going to fucking talk. You don't have to tell me everything, but you have to tell me some shit. Now sit your ass down," Trevor demands, pointing to an armchair propped up by a hearth.

Alucard shakes, frozen for a good thirty seconds more before wiping his cheeks and going to sit in the chair, tucking his knees close to him and pulling the gown over them to hide his legs. 

Trevor follows and sits on the ottoman across the rug. "I hate to be a dick, but I need some fucking answers."

"Ask away," the vampire mumbles, staring at the floor by Trevor's feet.

"Who were those people?" 

"Hunters."

"How did they end up with fucking pikes in their asses?"

"Betrayal."

"Oh?"

"Yes.. they betrayed me. They were going to kill me." 

"Why," Trevor asks, his demeanor changing quite a lot after he hears 'betrayal.'

"Who knows? They betrayed me, left me these scars and then left the living world to rot in the darkest corners of Hell," Alucard replies bitterly. "Will you please answer my question now?"

"Of what I was going to say earlier? I thought I did." 

"I.. I want to know what you mean by ' _really_ missed me,'" he grumbles. 

"Shit… well, I mean we missed you. Look, some fucking feelings and bulshit cropped up, it's not a big deal," Trevor rolls his eyes.

"F-Feelings? What kind of feelings?" Anxiety chokes Alucard and breathing becomes harder and harder.

"Like-" he clicks his tongue and sighs, standing from his chair and turning his back. "They're not betrayal, I promise. More like… I dunno.. Sypha would say romantic." 

"And what would you say?"

"I dunno. The same I guess. I dunno, that's- it's like, weird, right? Look just forget I said anything." 

"I… wait… Sypha has.. and _you_ have romantic feelings toward me? _You_ , Trevor Belmont?" Alucard glances up from his seat, staring at the man with wide eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Stupid, isnt it? 'Specially with my fucking family lineage. Look whatever, it's out now. Happy?"

"...yes. And I hope you are more satisfied with… me."

"Yeah. Next time let's not have it get to me screaming at you, alright? Talk when you're comfortable but like… just let us know some stuff. We've been gone a while and come back to bodies hung up, you in pieces. Hell, I hear you screaming in your sleep. Just… know we're asking out of compassion or concern or whatever. Because we care. Thanks for telling me, alright? You're safe with us." Trevor walks up to Alucard and offers his bitten hand to help him out of the seat, which the vampire finds hard to take initially.

Finally, he takes it and stands, then walks up to Trevor and gives him a very quick hug. 

"Thank you. I will try my hardest to remember that. Breakfast will be ready when you wake. Now go. Sypha is waiting," Alucard mutters quickly. 

Trevor blushes soft pink and nods, "See you tomorrow. " 

Alucard nods and gets into bed after the Belmont leaves to sort through all that just happened and wrap his head around everything, and after what seems like hours, falls into another restless sleep. 

His dreams consist of many things this time, not all bad, but not all good either, and in his dream he finds himself laying on the floor by his father's ring, singed rug and hard stone holding his body. 

The floor becomes soft though after a moment and it all melts into complete darkness, and then into a familiar smell of sweat and dark wood, and he looks up to see himself in an enormous Trevor's arms, cradled like a child.

 _"Why..?"_ Alucard starts, but Trevor sets him upright and shrinks down to normal size, then kisses him, a gentle hand holding his lower back which brings him close, the other tangled in his long blonde locks. 

Sypha materializes next to Trevor and she takes one of Alucard's hands, holding it in her own before pressing gentle kisses up his skin, stepping in close and kissing tears he didn't realize had fallen from his cheeks. He breaks the kiss with Trevor to kiss the Speaker back.

Hands begin to hold him, touch him, and shivers race through his body, a quiet moan falling through his lips. He closes his eyes and a bed below them appears out of the darkness surrounding their bodies, and they're in the other bedroom.

Trevor's hands caress his hips, his thighs, holding him in strong calloused hands, and Sypha's lips touch his face and chest with something he hadn't felt with the other two.

And for a moment, all sound fades, all torment falls away, and his heart happy and full.

The moment cuts short and pain, searing pain wracks through his body, pooling in his chest and the smell of blood fills the air.

The vampire's eyes fly open to see Sumi and Taka, blades plunged deeply into his chest with the stands of silver burning through his skin.

Before anything else can happen, Alucard wakes with a start, eyes flying open, breath falling heavily from his lips and he sits upright.

The moon is high outside and an owl hoots off in the distance.

"I need to go for a walk…" Alucard mutters, dressing himself in some comfortable, standard clothes before heading out the front doors, shape-changing into his wolfish form and running off into the dead of night for a while. A long while.

The man bounds into a clearing with a babbling creek, and some lovely trees, cold wind nipping his skin, and he sits at the edge of the water for a long while, just thinking to himself, curled up in his canine body. 

Trevor and Sypha had awoken to the sounds of Alucard's shouting, and they held each other close. 

"He's having another nightmare," Trevor sighs, rubbing his eyes.

"I know. But hey, this one didn't happen as fast. Maybe things are getting better!" Sypha rubs his side and then says, "He's getting there. You told me those people betrayed him, so I can see why he is so distraught. I just hope we can get through to him and remind him that it will be okay…"

"Yeah, me too. Go back to sleep, okay? You need it," Trevor says, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

Sypha smiles and nods. "You do too. I love you," Sypha whispers, kissing his chin before nuzzling into her hunter's chest once more, falling back into a peaceful rest.

Trevor smiles lightly, "Love you too," and holds her close, following her lead and falling into a rest until morning arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, thank you for making it through another chapter! I really appreciate you! You make me want to keep writing!


	6. Good Wholesome Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alucard finally seems comfortable with the idea of Sypha and Trevor being at the house and spends the day doing some laundry and housework before having a small sparring session with Trevor. 
> 
> The other two explore the castle, find some dark secrets behind a set of double doors, and discover Alucard's study. 
> 
> The evening ends with pleasantries and good thoughts around for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I'm trying to figure out where to go after this. I have an end goal in mind... anyway I'm rambling.
> 
> Welcome to the wholesome chapter! This one will be pretty nice for the most part! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> <3  
> Boo

The sun breathes life into a cold morning where frost clings to the ground, and a gentle, glittering array of pinks, oranges, and golds scatter across the icy specks blanketing the world. 

Sunrise brings warmth to the clearing where a white wolf with a pink scar across his chest lies resting, the chilly flakes of frost melting into his fur, and eyes of liquid gold open to a stunning sky.

The canine yawns, stands, and stretches his limbs, then shakes his coat and bounds off into the woods to find breakfast for the morning.

\------

The decadent scents of fresh roasted herbs and bread, as well as sweet honey and butter waft through the castle, bringing Trevor Belmont out of a blissful sleep into a blissful awakening. 

"Mm… smells fuckin' amazing. That's as good as sex," he mumbles.

The woman laying on his chest blinks slowly as consciousness comes to her with the delicious smells of fresh made food too, and says, "Not better than, I hope?"

"Nope. I've learned my lesson." Trevor stands up and stretches, popping his back a little. 

"Good," Sypha nods, following him and dressing herself in a nice top and some leggings.

"How did you sleep last night? You woke up a couple times. Everything okay?" Trevor dresses himself in something similar to what he wore yesterday. 

"Yes. Just.. some nightmares about that horrible judge and those shoes. Alucard, too. I had a bad dream where he tried to kill us and well… we had to kill him," Sypha mumbles. "They're just dreams though. I'm okay."

The man walks up to her and hugs her closely to his chest. "You might be okay, but I can tell when you need a hug. Maybe tonight we could…"

"Have sex?"

Red flares up over his face. "I mean.. yeah if you want to."

"I'd like that." Sypha kisses his jaw with a gentle smile and she runs her fingers down his back. "I'm glad we came back here."

"Mm hmm. Me too," Trevor agrees quickly, tingles running down his back and trailing goosebumps down his arms. "S-So! Breakfast then?"

Taking his hand in hers, Sypha nods and leads him out of the room into the hallway where they bump into Alucard, who had been on his way to come and get them.

"Ah, perfect. Already awake," the vampire smiles lightly. "Sleep well?" 

"For the most part, yeah," Sypha replies, reaching out for his hand to hold as well. "What about you?"

Alucard hesitates for a moment, but takes her hand in his and helps guide them through the castle halls down to the kitchen. "I'm glad. I.. slept about as well as I could have, I suppose. Thank you for asking."

Sypha gives his hand a squeeze.

"And what about you, Belmont?" 

"Me?"

"No, the other Belmont. Yes, of course I mean you."

Trevor glares and says, "Slept like a rock." 

"Glad to hear." 

"What's for breakfast this morning?"

The door to the kitchen swings open and a beautiful array of bread and different cheeses and jellies, jams and compotes. "Please, help yourself. Eggs will be ready soon."

A growl emanates from Trevor's stomach and his mouth water a little. "My god… Alucard, did you make all of this?"

"I did. Not all this morning, but yes." 

"Where the fuck did you learn to cook like this?"

"Well, my mother couldn't cook or bake to save her life, but my father could. He liked the finer things in life and good food was one of them. We.. used to make this bread together and surprise mother with it when she would come home late from her work." Alucard stares a thousand yard stare at the meal before them, little images of times long passed flickering through his mind, then brushes his cheeks with his finger to rid them of the tears that fell. He sniffs once and quickly says, "But um.. anyway, enjoy."

"Dracula could cook?" Trevor asks, taking a seat at the table.

Sypha washes her hands in the water pail before sitting with her lover to tuck in to breakfast. "And you used to cook together?" She takes some bread and doctors up some slices with all the different cheeses and berry-based compounds on the table, wanting to hear more of Alucard's story.

Alucard chuckles, leaning his arms on the back of his chair. "Yes. Here's something else you can add to the Belmont library. This was all when I was younger and they were around more, but my father would go into town and purchase all the nicest ingredients he could find and come home with baskets full of produce, then call me downstairs and he and I would make dinner together for my mother. He was a great chef. Taught me many things…" he says, fondness bubbling into his words as he continues to stare into the center of the dishes he prepared.

"That's so nice, Alucard. Why don't you join us? This could.. maybe be a meal _we_ could all make in the future. To keep a tradition going," Sypha smiles. 

Warmth seeps into Alucard's heart, his chest and up into his face as he sits. "You.. you mean that?"

"Yes, absolutely!" Sypha takes his hand in hers.

"Well," the vampire says softly, holding her hand back, "I think I would like that." 

The Speaker's eyes light up and she beams at both women beside her, filling the room with a light other than the sun. "Wonderful! Let us know next time when you plan to make it."

"Of course," Alucard bows his head, then picks up a piece of bread and spreads a nice amount of cream cheese and fruit onto the top, taking a bite and savoring the taste. "So," he pauses for a moment to swallow. "What are your plans for today? I will be doing laundry if you want to bring your dirty clothes in a basket down here, I will wash them and hang them to dry on a balcony. I plan on doing a little housework today."

"I kind of wanted to explore the castle, if that's okay. The last time we were in here, we didn't really get the chance with Dracula and his army kind of shitting all over that idea," Sypha glances at Trevor.

"Yeah, that sounds nice. I kind of want to go fight something too, honestly. Maybe later, you and I could spar if you're up for it," Trevor glances from Sypha to the vampire at the head of the table.

Nodding slowly, Alucard says, "I'd like that a lot. I will say, I'm quite rusty, so don't expect anything good."

"I never expect anything from you to be good," Trevor fires back, nonchalantly. 

"Eat shit and die," Alucard grins slyly.

"Yes, fuck you," Trevor finishes, recalling one of their many spats.

The boys laugh together and Sypha watches with a smile tugging at her face. It seems as though Alucard's walls are starting to fall a little, especially with the tidbit about his past, and she feels happiness warm her heart to know he may be feeling more comfortable around other people again- especially after hearing about what he told Trevor last night.

After a few moments, Alucard wipes his mouth with a napkin, stands and begins to put his hair up into a ponytail, and says, "Well, I'll be outside with a water basin to wash clothes in if you would bring yours to me so I can clean your clothes. And anything else you'd like washed. Bedclothes, towels, whatever you need."

"We'll get those out now," Sypha smiles. "My robes haven't been washed in… well longer than I can remember. It will be nice to wear them clean again. Thank you."

Alucard nods and finishes tying his hair up, the more loose strands framing his face with an air of loveliness, especially in the midday light streaming through the kitchen window. Trevor internally punches himself for feeling a little hot and bothered by the vampire's soft appearance.

"Of course. Belmont, are you alright? You're staring," says Alucard, placing a sassy hand on his hip. "Never seen a man with his hair up?"

"No, actually, don't think I have," Trevor grumbles, looking back to his meal, butterflies dancing in his stomach.

Alucard drops his arm. "Oh. Well then. Never mind.." he says softly, walking to the door.

"Well, I mean, I like it, asshole. You're hot, okay? I didn't think I needed to spell it out for you," Trevor grumbles. 

A light blush blooms under Alucard's pale skin and he clears his throat. "Oh, well.. um thank you. I'm sorry. I- Laundry, yes, I'll be out front." And then he leaves quickly.

Trevor doesn't know whether to roll his eyes or smile at the man across the room as he leaves, but looks over at Sypha to find her grinning slyly. 

"You two are very cute, you know," she says in a singsong, sly voice.

"No, it's like.. a mutual appreciation okay?"

"Oh, don't be so humble or whatever. You like Alucard way more than you let on with your off the cuff comments and whatnot. I think it is very cute. You've whispered his name in your sleep, Trevor. I've heard it!" Sypha accuses triumphantly, pointing a finger at the man's chest.

"Whatever, let's go get our clothes," Trevor mutters, ignoring her, standing up and heading to the door.

Sypha follows, pinching his ass playfully.

"Hey!" 

The woman laughs and wraps her arm around his waist, going upstairs to collect what Alucard requested.

\-------

After giving Alucard what he requested of them, Sypha grabs Trevor's arm. 

"Time to go exploring!" She grins. "Where to first?"

"Let's see… there.. oh! I know. There are a couple rooms I want to see. I want to see Alucard's childhood bedroom, see if he changed anything, and there was a room we walked by yesterday I want to check out too," he replies. "You?"

"Not really. But those sound like good starting points!" 

The pair begin to head off and they stop by the second room Trevor mentioned since it's closer to their location. 

"This one gave me weird vibes. Did you feel the draft when we- see there it is again! And did you smell something? Let's look. It's like something died in there.." Trevor mutters, opening the door and walking inside. 

Shard of glass, all shapes and sizes cover the bloodstained bed from a window that looks like something had burst through it. The sheets are torn, holes puncturing the mattress, the canopy drapes ripped and laying across the bed where Alucard had left them that day.

"Oh god.. what happened here?" Sypha asks softly, staring around the room in horror. 

"Betrayal," Trevor mutters darkly. "Those people out front in their nightgowns had cuts in their necks. I'll bet this was the aftermath of something." He walks up to the bed and runs his hand along each puncture wound.

"Hmm…" Sypha thinks for a moment. "Trevor, lay on the bed, I want to see something."

She positions Trevor along where the puncture wounds are, as well as a faint body-shaped outline in old blood, then she traces her fingers over the man's body, remembering the scars Alucard has all over his from seeing them in the bathroom.

Trevor and Sypha give each other a look of horrible understanding. 

"Wait, you don't think-"

"He doesn't like to be touched, when he used to be fine with it…"

"Do you think that-"

Trevor sits up in the bed. 

"We need to leave this room. Come on," Sypha says, staring at the open window, and the bed of shattered glass and trust.

Trevor nods in agreement, and leaves with the Speaker, closing the doors quickly behind them as horrible ideas crop up in his mind of what may have happened.

"God, no wonder he was in such a fucking state when we first got here.." the hunter mumbles.

"I know," Sypha says softly. "I've said it a couple times and I'll say it again, I am very glad we got here when we did."

"Me too," he nods, walking away from the drafty room and up a flight of stairs with the Speaker walking next to him, arms blinked together as grim thoughts poke at their minds.

\-------

Alucard finishes up wringing blood out of Sypha and Trevor's clothing, leaving them almost as good as new, then begins to head upstairs with a basket of damp fabrics and cloths.

His forehead glistens a little with sweat and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, fresh soap smell radiating from his being.

He bumps into the pair and smiles. "Your clothes have been washed and I'll be hanging them up to dry now. Is.. everything okay?" His smile fades a little as he sees the stoic looks etched into their faces.

"Hmm? Oh! Yes, sorry. I was just thinking about the battle we had here," Sypha says, gesturing the rubble on the floor.

"Ah, well, perhaps I can clean this up a little more now that you're here. Sorry it was not in better condition when you arrived." Alucard walks past them and asks, "When I've finished hanging these, would you like to do a little sparring, Belmont?" 

"Yeah, that would be great. Can't wait to kick your ass," Trevor smirks.

"You wish," the vampire replies, walking up a few more flights of winding stairs to get to a nice balcony. 

Sypha finds another door and tries the handle which does make the door swing open. This room also brings a little shock to the duo's systems.

Pages upon pages of parchment litter this room, inked with words or drawings, some crumpled and destroyed, but others hanging on the walls or propped up by picture frames. Ink splatters stain the desk and quills, broken and not, spill out of a drawer.

Dracula's old chair stands facing away from the fireplace and towards the room's entrance. 

Sypha walks inside slowly, looking at each page with a shocked and honored kind of awe when she sees stunning drawings of her face, of Trevor's, and when she sees papers with her name written out in Alucard's thin, elegant handwriting.

Trevor follows suit, picking up a discarded piece of paper, and unfolding it. The image is of who he can only assume to be Alucard sitting with his knees up, hands in his hair, sobbing, black ink and charcoal bearing down around him. On the back it has a title: Companionship.

Trevor swallows harshly, putting the page to the side, meanwhile Sypha reads through a poem Alucard wrote. She wipes her face and sets it down. 

"It's... It's about his father and his guilt," Sypha murmurs. 

"He was so lonely… Whoa, Sypha, look," he whispers, pointing to a picture on the top of the desk.

The image is of the two of them, very realistically drawn next to the portrait of the vampire's mother. He picks it up and looks at the back.

"'Trevor Belmont and Sypha Belnades: The Persons of My Infinite Affection,'" Trevor reads, flipping it back over. "Wow… He is quite the artist."

Taking the page, Sypha looks it over and places it back. "How long did-"

"I see you have found my study," comes a soft, sultry voice. 

The duo whip around and both begin trying to come up with reasons as to why they were in there.

"Belmont, Sypha wait, please. I'm not upset, I was simply noticing that you're here. I.. finished hanging the laundry," Alucard looks around the room slowly. 

"Your work is beautiful," Sypha says softly. "Sorry we.. came in and started looking."

"I appreciate the kind words. However, I never said any room was off limits, so I'm not sure why you are apologizing. Although, there is a room on the second floor with the double doors closed, and it has some rubble around the outside. I would ask you to please stay out of that room, but… that is just a request. My home is yours, so I don't really see a reason to make anywhere off limits. Anyway…" Alucard trails off, picking up papers off the floor. "I'm ready to spar if you are."

Trevor nods slowly. "Yeah, yeah, sounds good. Fists or.. swords? Or any weapon of choice?" 

"I'd like to leave that decision to you," the golden man smiles. 

"I want my fucking whip then. Maybe not the Morning Star, but the whip at least. And you can have your fancy sword," Trevor replies. "Just like our first fight."

"And so it shall be," Alucard bows his head, a hand over his heart. "Let's go get ready then."

"Meet you outside," Trevor grins.

"Meet you there."

The pair separate, Alucard heading outside and letting his hair fall around his shoulders, flicking his fingers slightly, causing his beautiful magical sword to fly into his hand. "Been a while since I've used you… The last time was.. was on them.. Don't think about that now. Focus."

Trevor walks to his room quickly, excitement bubbling in his chest. 

"I think we went into that room he mentioned.." the speaker murmurs.

"It's fine. He didn't tell us not to go in there. It's fine, Syph. Are you going to watch us? Watch me kick his arse?" The Belmont attaches the whip to his hip and he puts on his white tunic with the golden Belmont crest over the heart. 

Sighing softly, she says, "Sure. Why not?"

"Fantastic!" 

Hurrying out into the warm, midafternoon sun, Trevor cracks his whip, getting into a fighting stance. 

"I've been aching for a good fight," he shouts, hopping and pushing his weight onto the fronts of his feet and back a little with a rush of adrenaline.

A smirk tugs at the corner of the vampire's lip and he too readies himself into a fighting stance. "Well, don't hold back the-"

A crack fills the air and Alucard flies backwards, catching himself midair so he levitates off the ground, glancing at a large welt in his abdomen, a tear in his white top. "I see how it is then. No holding back." 

He flies toward the hunter who cracks the whip again, but this time utilizes his inhuman speed and appears behind Trevor, kicking him in the back to catch him off guard before phasing back to get three stings more in his lower calf, his back and one grazes his neck.

Trevor scoffs, "Is that all you've got?" He recovers from the kick quickly.

Alucard smiles a little, wiping his brow. "I'm rusty, remember?" He rubs the angry, bloody welt on his neck trying to neutralize the sting before getting back to stay. 

"Whatever," the human man grins, continuing to make his whip dance in front of him, daring the vampire to come closer. "Show me what you can do-"

Trevor grunts as a foot shoves him into the ground, and he reaches back, turning his body to grab Alucard's ankle and trip him up. 

Opportunity arises and Alucard kicks Trevor's whip out of his hand, casting his own sword aside. He grabs the man's messy hair and pulls his head back. "Maybe I'm not the rusty one. Maybe you just need to talk less," Alucard whispers into the man's ear.

A chill runs down Trevor's back and he hopes the tingles in his face have no color. "Well maybe you should watch where you put your hands," Trevor smirks, pressing hard onto the top of Alucard's fingers, forcing him to let go, then grabbing his wrist and flipping him over his head onto his back.

The breath in Alucard's lungs escapes and he coughs, gasping for breath. Trevor stands over him and chuckles. "Good, quick little fight there," he smiles, offering a hand to the vampire to help him up.

Alucard accepts it and stands, regaining lost air for a moment before saying, "Yes, I agree. You've gotten very good. I haven't fought in… probably a month. Maybe we can go find a town soon and save it from night creatures, all of us together." He glances over to Sypha who walks up and nods. 

"I think that sounds very fun," she nods, looking over the welts on Alucard's torso. "May I?" She gestures them, creating a small ring of ice with her fingers.

"Hmm? Oh sure, um.. thank you," Alucard says quietly, watching her press the ice onto the big, angry red welts that ooze blood, staining his shirt red around the tears in the fabric.

"Shit, Alucard, sorry about that. I.. I got over excited I think. I didn't realize how hard I hit you," the hunter grumbles and looks over the spots, carefully lifting the fabric away from the wounds.

Two bodies so close to his own brings an anxiety he doesn't like into his chest, but Alucard swallows his nerves. _They're just trying to make sure I'm okay. They..they just are.. no, they're too close._

Calloused fingers brush his skin and Alucard can feel his muscles tense, and tingle too at the sensation, the ice against his minor injuries not helping the situation very much. 

"Can.. I please have a little space?" Alucard asks nervously.

Trevor glances up and nods, taking a step back. "Sorry 'bout that. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you," he nods, "And I appreciate your concern. Thank you again."

"Yeah, sure."

Sypha also steps away, making the ice melt and disappear under her fingers. 

"Is anyone hungry? I could make us something nice to eat for an early dinner if you are hungry," Alucard offers, trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh! Could we cook together?" Sypha asks excitedly.

A chuckle bubbles from Alucard's lips. "Of course we can," he says softly. "Let's head inside and get going then."

The trio retrieve their items that lay on the ground and head into the castle, sharing a pleasant evening of storytelling, cooking, and laughter. 

The vampire feels his barriers beginning to fall a little and he even holds the others' hands at one point, brushing long fingers over their very different hands. One is calloused, rough and physically strong, the other he finds is soft, warm and strong in a different way, but both possessing a comfort and a familiarity Alucard finds solace and peace in. 

The trio split off from each other, the hunter and the speaker to their bedroom, still laughing and smiling, and the sleeping soldier to his study to capture the moment in some writing and art before retiring to a mostly restful slumber, only one or two nightmares coming to plague him through the evening's rest. 

Trevor, on the other hand, finds himself plagued with images of Alucard in different states through the night, some lewd and raunchy, others soft and tender, some with Sypha and some where all three of them are together. 

A desire fills his heart, his mind and the monster hunter finds his body reacting to his imagination.

He leaves the bed, heading to the bathroom to go relieve himself so that maybe he can have a good night's rest without feeling discomfort or need, and maybe so that the golden eyes that stare into his soul will leave him alone for one night of peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will begin where this one left off ;)


	7. Completely Enamoured by You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trevor's thoughts wander, bringing him to a state of unrest, which disrupts Sypha's rest so much she makes him go talk to Alucard about his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay, I'm real nervous about this one. Enjoy. 
> 
> WARNINGS:
> 
> NSFW   
> Masturbation
> 
> NOT WARNINGS  
> Fluff   
> Recovery  
> Cute cuddles while watching the sunrise
> 
> <3  
> Boo

Escaping to the washroom, piercing golden eyes watch him in his imagination, tearing through him and causing tingles to trickle down his back as Trevor hurries into the privacy of the other room.

His body aches with need and Trevor finds it is all because of one man in some other room in this damn labyrinth of a castle.

Running his fingers through his hair as he stares at his naked, scarred, well-muscled and absolutely ripped body in a floor length mirror, the hunter turns away and sits on a stool, legs spread to free himself from the discomfort of confinement. He reaches down and takes his length in hand, slowly rubbing himself as his imagination begins taking him down a rabbit hole of scenes his mind conjures up.

He imagines himself sitting with Alucard in his lap, grinding slowly against the vampire as Alucard buries his head into his neck, biting him and drinking from his veins whatever he may need or desire. Trevor's hand reaches up the back of Alucard's neck, tangling his fingers in soft locks of gold, pulling the vampire closer, needing his touch, needing the other's desire to match his own.

"Mmm.." A soft sigh falls from chapped pink lips and as he slowly massages his cock, pumping it gently under a calloused hand, and the other hand tracing his body- his scars, his every curve and sculpted muscle- trying to imagine Alucard's long, nimble, soft fingers holding him instead. 

"Fuck…" 

His mind takes him now to Alucard lying against soft white sheets, golden blonde hair cascading in an elegant flowing mane under his head, lips parted and pale cheeks flushed pink, those liquid gold eyes staring half-lidded up at him as Trevor presses adoring, loving kisses down the scar in the vampire's chest. He stops and hovers over Alucard, moving his head back up to the alabaster lips he claims as his own, their bodies flush and warm against one another while another hand reaches to caress the half-human's pink-tinted cheek.

"Alucard.." Trevor groans, his eyes closed, head tilted back at the thought of Alucard drinking from him, holding him tightly and claiming him as his. Claiming the last in the line of the Belmonts as his very own. "God, make me yours," he says thickly, his muscles tightening a little, knots tied tight in his stomach as tingles race through his body.

He imagines himself now intimate with the vampire, holding the man's hips, their bodies tangling in a rhythmic dance with one another, Alucard gripping bed sheets, back arching upwards in ecstasy, cheeks now deeply blushed, sweat glistening on his brow. Trevor breathes heavily, hands massaging his lover's hips, his abdomen, chest and arms as they revel in each other's bodies.

Waves of heat pulse through the hunter and Trevor tosses his head, groaning the vampire's name, maybe a little louder than he should have as he reaches his climax. "Fuck, Alucard!"

Heavy breaths puff out of his lungs as he comes back from his height of pleasure, and he goes to lean back against the back of the stool only to find one doesn't exist. Trevor falls backwards and onto the floor.

"Shit," he mutters, still lost in ecstacy. After several minutes, Trevor stands up, then takes a little time to clean up after himself before heading back into the bedroom and getting under the blankets next to Sypha.

He wraps an arm around her waist and sighs, nuzzling his head into her neck.

"Trevor, you are very noisy…" Sypha grumbles causing red hot embarrassment flare under Trevor's cheeks. 

"I- I'm sorry," he says quickly.

"Don't be, I thought it was very sexy. Wish you were loud like that when we have sex," she smiles, eyes still closed, then she turns around in his arms. "'God, make me yours.' Are you _trying_ to make me horny? Because it's working, Mr. Belmont." 

"Shit, Sypha, I.. okay, okay. As long as you're into it I guess. Let's just um.. get back to sleep," Trevor mutters, not making eye contact as red embarrassment soaks up into his ears and down onto his chest.

"Right, right, and tell that to the rest of the castle. You woke everyone up with your moaning." 

"E-Everyone?" 

"Probably. You were _so loud_ , Trevor," the speaker teases, drawing out her words to sound like him.

"Fuck.. do you think he heard?" 

"Go to sleep, Trevor."

"Alright, alright, fine. Jesus," he mumbles, holding her closely to his chest.

After a moment, the hunter says, "You won't tell him will you?"

"I wasn't planning on it, no. Are you going to tell him?" 

"What? No! What, tell him that.. That he's so fucking hot I can't sleep at night so I have to go fucking.. fuck myself basically to get some goddamn rest? I don't think so," Trevor replies quickly, hugging Sypha close, breathing in the soft smell of lavender from the soap still lingering in her hair. "Maybe someday. If he ever feels the same. I know I told him we had romantic feelings for him, but he never said if he reciprocated them. He just sounded shocked and maybe appalled."

"Trevor, talk to him about it tomorrow, okay? I need sleep, silly man. Or go ask him now if it's bothering you so much, but we both need rest." Sypha takes his hand and kisses it gently. "Rest well, okay?"

Trevor sighs, "Yeah you too."

Hours pass.

Trevor finds himself wide awake still, tossing, turning, unable to lie still for long. 

Finally, he stands up and puts on some night clothes, then begins to wander the dark, still eerie castle, restless and awake. 

The man comes across Alucard's bedroom as he wanders, and he walks up to the door, raising a fist to knock, but stops himself.

 _Don't. Just leave him alone._ His body responds differently.

Three gentle taps on the door sound from his knuckles and Trevor feels… nervous. "Why am I nervous? I don't get nervous…" 

A moment passes and the hunter's heart sinks a little. He turns to walk away, but then hears the door open and he whispers around to see Alucard peeking from behind the door, playing with his fingers. 

"Oh. Belmont, it's just you. Are you alright?" The vampire opens the door a little further, stepping into the hallway.

"Hmm? Oh. Fine, yeah, um, listen I wanted to talk to you about something." 

"At this hour?"

"Did I interrupt your weird vampire beauty sleep?"

Alucard chuckles lightly, "No. What did you need to talk about?"

"May I come in?"

Alucard looks around and shuffles his feet a little, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um.." After a moment of consideration, he nods, "But we aren't closing the door," he says.

"Sure, yeah," Trevor nods in kind, walking into the chamber. He steps to an armchair and takes a seat while Alucard sits across from him. 

"So," Alucard begins, "What brings you to me at this time of night?"

"I have a question I need answered. Just to give me some fucking peace of mind," Trevor murmurs, running his fingers through his hair, his knee bouncing with nerves. "What- no. How… that's a dumb way of phrasing that… I need to know what- What your feelings are towards me. Do you see me as a brother, or a friend, or.. um.. just a piece of shit human? What do you consider me as?" 

"Well.. that's a hard question, you know. I see you as a brother in arms, and a friend of course, and a piece of shit as usual, but.. I don't know. I've begun seeing you in a different way," the vampire says quietly.

The human's heart begins sinking quickly. "Different how?"

"Well.. I'm not sure. I've never really… had the opportunity, I suppose, to feel this way toward anyone so I'm not sure what it's called, but I find myself absolutely, completely and hopelessly enamoured by you. I find you in my thoughts, walking around, or sitting with me. I feel similarly with Sypha. You just.. crop up more. Your eyes seem to pierce my every move, every thought. I find myself wanting to do right by you and impress you, or show you that.. that I'm worth something. Silly, right?" Alucard mumbles, stopping himself after getting lost in thought.

Heat flares up in his cheeks, a red dusty blush spattering across stubble covered sheeks. "Funny you mention that, I feel the same way toward you."

A pause fills the air. "Even with the way I treated you? Even though I pushed you to leave, I said you.. weren't welcome. Even though I-I am walking and living through a nightmare and I cannot seem to wake up from it?"

"Yeah, of course. We all have shit we go through, Alucard, and the people who help us through our worst times, through our worst selves are those worth keeping around. Their love runs deep and they care so much. And they won't stop caring, no matter what you go through. They'll help you through it, help you fight whatever you need to because those people are the ones willing to go into battle with you. For you. _I_ am willing to go into battle for you, Alucard. Sypha is too. We.. we love you," Trevor says softly, his typical gravelly voice now tender and kind. 

Emotion swells in Alucard's chest and tears begin falling down the man's pale, moonlit cheeks. He places the heels of his palms on his cheeks, running his long fingers up into his hair as sorrow, love, warmth, relief, all different flavors of emotion come to a boiling point in him, spilling forward while tears drip off his nose onto his knees.

The vampire weeps in front of the hunter who cannot tell if what he said was good or bad, so he stands and begins stepping towards the door, fearing he overstepped a boundary or overstayed his welcome. He turns to leave and begins walking out the door when his arm jerks and Alucard stands behind him, holding his hand so tightly it is as if the vampire believes if he let go, the hunter would fall off of the earth and never be seen again. 

"I.. I love you too," he manages to croak. "Please, don't go."

Trevor turns and says, "You.. you alright?"

Alucard nods and croaks a soft, "Could I please.. hug you..?

The human simply opens his arms, welcoming the thinner, taller man into his embrace, stepping closer and holding the shaking man to his chest.

Alucard grips him tightly, fingers digging into his shirt as he cries softly into Trevor's neck.

The monster hunter sighs and does the same, just with less waterworks. He rubs Alucard's back and quietly says, "It.. It's alright. You're going to be alright, and if not, Sypha and I will be by your side to get you to being alright. Nothing can hurt you if you're with us." 

Slowly but surely, Alucard's breaths begin to even out, his tears beginning to run dry and his body no longer shaking. 

"See? You're alright. They can't hurt you anymore and we would never dream of even trying to hurt you. I promise," Trevor whispers, breaking away from the vampire, holding his upper arms, massaging them with his thumbs. 

Alucard nods, staring down at Trevor's face, his pretty, piercing blue eyes, his scruffy face, his soft pink lips and the vampire leans in a little.

Trevor's heart races. It pounds loudly in his chest and he wonders if Alucard can hear it. They're so close. 

Leaning in closer, and even closer still, Alucard stops. "I.." he backs up. "I'm sorry."

"Wh.. what?"

"I can't. Not yet, and I'm sorry.." Alucard whispers, taking a step back, his breaths shaky again, cheeks pink.

"Are.. are you sure you can't? Not even.. not even a little one?" Trevor asks, fingers up by his face about a half an inch apart to show distance. "You don't have to, obviously, but.. just.. I don't know."

Thoughts flit through his mind and Alucard finally says, "Give me your hand."

"My hand? Um..sure, here." 

Smooth ivory lips press a gentle kiss to the back of the hunter's hand, then turns it and kisses the callouses, the rough flesh and each finger connected to the palm. 

Sparks and shivers strike through Trevor and his face glows pink. The sensation is nothing he's ever felt, and while Alucard slows to a stop, the hunter finds himself wishing the vampire would continue. 

Alucard holds his hand for a moment and then brings it to his chest. "That is what I'm comfortable with right now," he says, glancing up at Trevor with tired gold eyes. 

"Yeah! Yeah, this- No, that's perfect. Sure, yeah. I.. Yes. Thank you." Trevor fumbles through his words. Had he not pleased himself earlier, he's sure his arousal would be poking a tent in his thin trousers.

Nodding, the vampire glances behind him to see pinks and oranges glowing off of fluffy clouds in a quiet morning. "How lovely… Come watch the sunrise with me?" Alucard takes Trevor to the bay window and sits on the cushioned seat inside, leading his companion to sit with him.

Trevor's heart beats loudly as he sits next to Alucard, watching the sun rise, spattering color across land and sky, lighting the world in a warm ethereal glow signaling the start of a new day. He brushes his thumb over Alucard's hand and watches the man scoot closer.

Alucard glances over at the man next to him and sits up against him, leaning his head on his shoulder, lacing their fingers together. 

"Thank you for coming back," he whispers.

Trevor blushes gently and nods. "Y-yeah, of course! No problem. I… yeah. Thanks for letting us stay." 

Sighing gently, the vampire nods. 

Peaceful silence falls between the pair and they sit closely with each other for a while longer before a soft knock comes from the doorframe.

"May I join you? Or is this a boys only kind of thing," Sypha asks, a smile tugging at her lips.

Alucard sits up and nods. "N-Not at all! Please, join us." 

The woman pads over with her bare feet and white nightclothes, a blanket wrapped loosely around her shoulders. She sits between the two, wrapping her blanket around their shoulders. 

Trevor wraps an arm around her waist and holds her close to him while Sypha holds out her arm to offer Alucard a spot on her other side. He breathes slowly and nods, sitting in closely to her as she rubs his arm.

The position gives Alucard a little anxiety, but taking a moment, staring at her face, then at Trevor's hand near his side, he bobs his head gently as acceptance falls over him. Comfort begins soaking into the pressures on his body and he finds himself more cozy than he has been in a long time, watching the sunlight spill out across the land before them, wondering what the day will bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. I know this one was short, but I didnt want it to be too, too long. Next one will probably be a few days/weeks later and go through Alucard exppaining what happened while they were gone, more nightmares, cute fluff, etc.
> 
> Hope you're all having a good week and are staying safe!


	8. And the Walls Came Crashing Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alucard's long pent-up emotions finally come to a boiling point and he has a tough discussion with Sypha and Trevor about the things that he went through while they were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear God, I am so, so sorry for the long wait. Quarantine kicked my creativity's ass and beat it into the dirt, so I've slowly been getting back into the groove of writing. Work has also been a bit nightmarish, but whatever. I have content now! And this is a nice long chapter this time! I do hope I can still make decent content, and if you're looking for something still a little dark and heavy, but a little different, I have Visions of Distant Lovers I have been updating now as well if you're interested. It's set pre-season 1 and is kind of more fun and lighthearted. Vlad and Lisa are still happily alive and well. It's a party. Anyway! I hope you enjoy the new installment of Love Knows No Bounds!
> 
> I will also have a questionnaire at the end of this for what you would like to see next!
> 
> This is going to have a lot of warnings this time around as Alucard will be telling the tale of his past trauma and there will be a lot of heavy topics discussed. I will put the list here:
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> Mention of Suicidal Thoughts  
> Depression  
> Anxiety  
> Reliving Trauma  
> Blood Drinking  
> Hurt  
> Betrayal  
> PTSD
> 
> Now, with all of that, I will add this:
> 
> To those who have suffered abuse, loss, or have an inner turmoil that has yet to be heard, and you don't yet have the strength to talk about it, know that it will all be okay. Take your time. Grieve, mourn, and process what you need to at your own pace. I am on Instagram (@anicebowlofsoup) if you need someone to talk to but know that it's also okay to ask for help in your process. If you have suicidal thoughts, if you have thoughts of self-harm or intentions of hurting yourself or others, please call the suicide hotline for help and know there are people out there who can help you. If no one will listen, I will. And if I can help by even being there, I will. Stay strong. These are tough times, but stay strong, we can do this together.
> 
> You are valued and loved and you will come out of your inner turmoil stronger than before.
> 
> You are not alone, and we are in this together,  
> Boo <3

Nearly two weeks have passed since that morning when they all sat together and watched the sunrise and Alucard finds himself pacing the main hall alone, feeling lonely and dirty and like the weight of the castle is chained to his feet. This morning has brought nothing but painful memories and a deepening emptiness in him. He misses his mother. He misses his father, even. He misses what it felt like to be touched with love, but hardly remembers that sweetness when the bitterness of betrayal stales the memory and turns it sour.

Alucard paces for what feels like hours in the entrance until finally, a voice brings him out of his depressed state.

“Um.. Alucard?” Sypha’s voice rings out gently from the top of the main staircase. She begins to descend and keeps a close eye on him. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine, Sypha. Just leave me be.” 

Sypha sighs, saying, “I thought you may say that. Look, Alucard, I’m just worried is all. You didn’t eat this morning and I heard you in your bathroom crying when I tried to call you downstairs. I know something happened when we were gone, and I just want you to know that you can absolutely talk to Trevor and me about anything. I know we told you about what happened in Gresit, so I just.. Want you to know you can confide in him and I. We care about you and we’re worried about you. Please talk to us when you’re ready. And as of now, please come get something to eat. It’s been days…” Sypha walks up to him and takes his hand.

That small gesture has been one of the biggest reassurances during this whole ordeal, and feeling Sypha’s soft and warm hand against his own brings tears to the dhampir’s eyes and he stops pacing. His face is nearly lifeless: no color, slightly sunken eyes, and his whole face gaunt. Similar to when they found him.

“You need to get a little blood in you, and some good warm food, a little water, and let’s just talk, okay? Please, Alucard,” Sypha asks, taking his other hand too.

The thin, pale man sighs and goes to shake his head, but through bleary eyes that cry for help, he sees she means well, so he nods. “Okay. I don’t want to feed on you or Trevor again though.”

“Please, you know we don’t mind. It gets you back on your feet the quickest. You can take from me this time if that’s what sounds best. I’m sure you can convince Trevor to do the same. You know we don’t mind,” Sypha says, leading him to a living room area with some nice soft couches and chairs, and warm sunlight streaming into the room.

“I know, I know, but it feels wrong. You are my friends. Not- Not livestock I keep around to feed off of when I feel like it or go into a depressive state,” Alucard says guiltily. 

“We know. That’s why we let you. Otherwise, you could lose out on that necessary part of your life. And… sometimes you forget to feed yourself, so we like to be there and help if we can,” she replies, sitting on the sofa and saying, “Where would you like to feed from? Wrist? Neck? Where are you thinking?”

Alucard sits next to her and closes his eyes briefly. He shakes his wrist hesitantly, hating that this is what he has become. Tears drip down his cheeks as he feels Sypha’s wrist, locating the least dangerous place he could get the most blood the quickest.

Sypha watches him and smiles sadly. “Alucard, please, you don’t need to feel upset about this or anything. I promise. Take as much as you need. I’ll be okay. You are allowed to ask for help, and right now, it seems like you need it. May I touch your back?”

Thinking for a moment, Alucard shrugs and nods. He feels Sypha’s warm hand on his back and his posture falters. His walls begin to crumble and he stands for a moment, bringing Sypha to her feet. He tentatively reaches out, then hugs her with all the strength he can muster, unable to keep in the negative emotions he’s held onto for the past month and a half. 

The Speaker returns the gesture slowly so she doesn’t bring anything bad back to the surface and rubs his back gently, bringing a sense of peace and comfort to the fragile dhampir in her arms.

After what feels like an hour goes by, Sypha sees Trevor enter the room and he goes to leave, but the woman beckons him back into the room. 

Trevor steps closer and stands next to the pair and he softly says, “What’s going on? What happened?” Concern laces his tanned face and his brow furrows in worry.

Alucard’s ears perk up at the sound of the hunter’s voice and his grip on Sypha’s top tightens, while shame, and embarrassment burning his cheeks and ears again.

“I don’t know, but I think he wants to talk about what happened when we were gone,” she replies, gently placing her chin on the blonde’s shoulder, still rubbing his back with her gentle touch. 

“Oh shit, okay. Alucard, can I get you a blanket or anything? Some water?” Trevor asks, the gravity of this situation filling the room.

Alucard nods, not saying a word, just clinging to his friend as if the world would end if he let go.

The hunter nods back, and stands, glancing back at the pair before going out and gathering the requested items. 

While Trevor is out collecting the blanket and water, he also collects some little things to eat and while he’s in the kitchen, he sees the little dolls that the man had made of himself and Sypha. “Should I bring these? Maybe. I mean, it can’t hurt. Maybe if it becomes too much and he wants to like… hold one of us but can’t bring himself to do it, then he can hold these instead. Shit… I wonder what happened to him. We were only gone for a couple of months, right? Maybe three or four…” Trevor mutters to himself, bringing the items back to the room. 

When he steps inside, he sees Alucard and the Speaker sitting on the couch, the dhampir attached to Sypha’s wrist, and the sight doesn’t get easier to watch, but Trevor remains silent and lets them do what they’ve got to do. The woman holds one hand with her other one, her fingertips brushing over the top to comfort the prince beside her.

Color has returned to Alucard’s cheeks and his eyes are a little brighter once more. He backs away from Sypha, hiding his mouth and making sure he has no blood on his lips. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. I don’t even feel too lightheaded. Here, let’s get you situated where you feel most comfortable right now and you can tell us whatever you need to, okay? We’re listening.” Sypha smiles.

Alucard nods, looking up at Trevor with all the things in his arms and says, “You didn’t have to get all of that… Thank you. I-” He notices the dolls. “Thank you for bringing those too. I’m sorry you had to look at them.”

“Don’t apologize for this, Alucard. It’s fine. Where do you want to sit?” Trevor asks.

The dhampir stands slowly and points at the armchair next to the couch. He then takes the blanket and wraps it around his shoulders and sits with a leg tucked under him in the chair while Trevor puts everything else on the small side table next to him. The hunter then turns the couch a little to face him better and he sits next to Sypha.

“Alright. Where do you… want me to start?” Alucard asks quietly, taking a drink of water.

“Wherever you are most comfortable,” the speaker smiles.

Alucard nods and tries to think of where he should start, so he figures right when they left would be a good place to begin. 

“I guess this whole thing kind of began right after you left. I had… Just been forced to kill my father, and was left with two empty estates and my only friends out adventuring while I was left here to… Clean up, I suppose. I think the break was alright at first, but after a while, I started losing track of the days, and what time it was. I made these silly things because… I missed your company, and the loss of my father was much harder for me to go through alone than I had anticipated.

“It got to a point where I was talking to myself, these dolls embodying you, and I would speak like you to me to have some sort of company in my loneliness. I was orphaned, and alone in a stationary castle to live out who knows how long until you returned. 

“Maybe a month passed, maybe more, I’m not sure and I was out collecting water from the stream and I heard a rustle in the woods. I thought it could be a bear, or maybe someone trying to claim the castle or kill me, or something, but I found two hunters who had escaped their homeland in Japan to find aid in bringing down the tyrannous vampire general Cho. I had missed hearing another voice so desperately, I decided I could try becoming friends, and teach them to be hunters like you, Trevor. Teach them how to wield weapons, maybe even learn a little magic. 

“For weeks we were thick as thieves, and I would teach them how to fight while they made me make them lunch and show them around the castle.” A small, fond smile graces the pale ivory lips of the man even when he continues. “They could make me laugh and it was like being back to normal again, having company, learning things in the old Belmont hold, cooking for more than just myself. It was wonderful, honestly, and although I missed you two, I had two new friends I was getting along with. After a while though, things seemed to change.

His smile disappears.

“They kept pushing me to fix the castle’s teleportation mechanism and I continued to tell them I didn’t need to, for there were more pressing matters to attend to than being able to move this old thing. Their attitude seemed fine about it, and they kept talking about rewarding me for taking them in and teaching them these things. In hindsight, I recognize that there was malicious intent behind their words, and I can see now that they were angry with me.

“Anyway… there was one evening when I was finding that restlessness would keep me up until who knows when, batting sleep away at every turn, and there was… a knock at the door. I sat up and they were there.” Alucard’s story begins to slow down and he takes a pause, drinking some water and picking up the dolls off the floor.

“Worry was my first instinct. They never came to the door. They never woke me. What was this about. They came in and um.. They said it was time for my… ‘reward.’”

Trevor and Sypha’s brows furrow with concern and guilt as they listen to this story. _Maybe we shouldn’t have left so soon after his father passed. But he said he was alright. He would be fine. We never should have left…_

“They walked up to the sides of the bed and sat down, whispering things I had been wanting to be acknowledged for a long time. They said things like, ‘You’ve been so alone,’ and… and all sorts of other things. They pushed me onto my back and began removing their clothes. I didn’t know what was going on. I was confused and concerned and when they started kissing me I just let it happen because I had missed the touch of another person for so long. I didn’t know what it was like to feel loved, and when they touched me, that’s what I thought I felt was love.” 

Tears prick Alucard’s eyes and he pauses for a moment. Silence fills the room and he wipes his eyes, a darkness and pain lying underneath that begin to show. 

“But I was wrong. They would hold me and kiss me and touch me in places I’ve never been touched before, and we… we had intercourse. It felt… Good. At the moment I felt like this was perfect: Two people I cared about were with me together and we… we were all enjoying ourselves. I didn’t do much, I didn’t know how. It was my first time doing anything like that. And after this beautiful moment of seeing stars and feeling breathless, they changed. Their expressions darkened. 

“As I laid on my back, exposed and blissful, they trailed their fingers up my arms and clipped.. These silver bracelets or brackets or something, it was all kind of a blur, and then these strands shot out over my body.” Alucard stands and removes his shirt, revealing the crisscrossed scars dividing his chest and arms that dip below his waistline.

Sypha stares with wide, horrified eyes and covers her mouth with her hands.

“The strands were silver and they burned into my skin, and the more I moved, the more they tightened over me. Sumi and Taka, the people I had trusted then sat over me with a blade in their hands and said I was a liar. That I wouldn’t help them. That no one helps them. They said I was hiding things from them, that they would f-figure out how to move the castle and build an empire of their own. I gave them everything! And they said they were cheated and lied to across the world and why would I be any different? I tried to be! I tried to be different because I could see they had been through hardships! I could see they had been dealt a bad hand and here they were saying I lied and cheated them like everyone else! All because I wouldn’t show them how to use lightning to decimate an army or the engine room of the castle. I was not against them, I still wanted to reason with them! This was all a big misunderstanding, and everything would have been okay.” Alucard says through gritted teeth, his nails now sharp, eyes dark and gaze turned towards the floor.

“I tried to escape. But it was no use. I did the only thing I could do as I watched them reach their blades over my chest in an act of self-preservation. I called upon my blade, and it swung through the air, streaking blood up the drapes and spattering the bedclothes. They fell backward onto the bed, throats cut and bleeding out. The restraints loosened when they died, and in my haze of confusion, after laying there for what felt like hours, I finally left my bedroom, a sheet stained red draped over my shoulders and I laid in my father’s study where he died and sobbed for hours. Alone again. Betrayed and burned and broken. All I believed was I would truly be alone forever. No one would stay. My mother was taken, my father dead by my hand, you two, gone off on your own adventures, and now the two people I had begun a new life with were now dead and naked in my bedroom, also by my hand.

“After that, I figured what else was there to do? The people who come into my life leave me, so why not keep those unfortunate enough to cross my path away with an example. I staked those two outside and retreated into the castle. I didn’t eat. I hardly slept. There were days where I would sit in my father’s study and contemplate ending my life there. I almost did. But then I saw the dolls I made of you and hoped one day I’d find you again. I was angry and hurting and I was furious with you both for a long time, but none of this was your fault. None of it. You had gone on with your lives and I needed to with mine, but it still didn’t help. I figured I’d wait to see if you showed up and if you did, it was a miracle that told me I should keep going, but if you didn’t, I would starve to death or become just like my father. And.. That’s when you came back. My saving grace, really.” 

Alucard trembles and sits back down in his chair, tears falling down his face as he wipes his eyes, then holds his face in his hands. Tears pool and fall down his wrists as he sobs, letting out all of the sorrow and loneliness and boiled up anger he’s had for months.

Sypha watches this and wants to walk up and hug him tightly and tell him that they’re here and everything will be okay, but her legs won’t move. She just stays frozen and stationary. 

Trevor on the other hand sighs softly and shakes his head. “Jesus Christ, Alucard.”

The trio sits in a silence that is only broken by the sound of the dhampir’s sobs. Sypha and Trevor stare at the scars covering his arms and torso, unable to imagine the hurt in their friend’s heart at this point.

After a long time, Sypha finds her ability to stand. “Alucard? Can… Will you stand? I want to hug you if that’s alright.”

Keeping his gaze fixed on the floor, the thin, pale man stands up and nods, wiping his arms of the tears he shed and allows Sypha to hold him. And boy does she. Sypha holds him and buries her face in his chest saying, “I’m sorry that you went through such terrible things. We are so very glad you are still here and thank you for sharing your story with us. You are heard and understood. We will never hurt you again, nor hurt you as those people did. You are safe with us.”

His emotions return even stronger at Sypha’s words and he nods, just holding her tight.

“Can uh, can I join in or um.. Is this a girl only kind of thing,” Trevor smiles, harkening back to that nice moment they had watching the sunrise with one another.

Alucard lets out a watery chuckle and he smiles down at Trevor, shaking his head. 

Trevor joins in and holds the other two in his big strong arms, the feeling of Alucard’s skin against him, the new scars lining the man’s body feel foreign, but Trevor doesn’t mind. He likes holding Alucard like this. Maybe someday he and Alucard could lay together like this and just… hold one another. Comforting, warm, serene… That would be nice.

Some time passes and Alucard breaks the hug. “Thank you for listening to me… and hearing my story. It- It wasn’t easy to tell but I’m glad you know now. I’m sorry I talked for so long.”

“It’s okay. You needed to let it out. We’re here to listen. Can we get you anything right now? A bath or maybe something to eat?” Sypha asks.

“No, thank you though. Um.. Just your company would be nice. Thank you for asking though. I um.. I like being near you. Maybe we could all go into the hold and see what kind of intriguing information we can find. I know that it’s kind of boring but if you would be interested, I wouldn’t mind looking through the old tomes and things. Maybe we could make it a competition?” Alucard says softly, putting his shirt back on. At this point, he wants to get his mind off of the freshly told trauma and needs a little more of a lighthearted break.

Trevor nods. “I like that idea. Whoever finds the best thing gets a special dessert or something. Or whoever wins gets to go to town and the others have to get them whatever they want, eh?” A competitive glimmer forms in the hunter’s eyes.

“You are on, Belmont,” Alucard and Sypha say simultaneously, smiling.

The trio begins to head towards the hold and Alucard feels okay now for the first time in a long time. His healing has started and is nowhere near finished, but it’s started. It’s not perfect and he doesn’t feel completely better, but being able to laugh again with people he cares about, feeling comfortable with their touch is a big step.

\-------

When the trio reaches the hold, they each spread out and begin searching for secrets or unique items or tomes or knowledge they can find and after some time, they each meet in the center near the index with their findings.

Sypha presents an interesting book about the secret lives of merfolk discovered by one of Trevor’s great, great aunts a long time ago. It describes some of the magical elements, the lifestyles, and the undiscovered natures of merfolk. There’s even a map and location of a cove off of the Mediterranean Sea to find the clan. The book is long and very detailed.

Trevor finds a large greataxe imbued with magical properties and was used by the Giants of the Old World, and the magic can change the size of the weapon and, depending on the wielder can change what kind of damage it can do. 

Alucard discovers an interesting relic: a necklace that when placed around the neck grants the wearer sight into the ethereal plane where they can see spirits and ghosts of all that have died in the nearby vicinity, as well as the living.

The trio compares and contrasts and end up determining that each item is very intriguing in their own rights.

Sypha does have a concern she doesn’t yet speak aloud, though, about the necklace. _If Alucard can see the dead with that necklace and he wears it all the time, what if he sees his father? Or those two people roaming the castle? He would be devastated! He cannot keep it. I just hope he doesn’t have the same thought as I do…_

The woman keeps a close eye on the dhampir though and gives a slight sigh of relief when he takes it off and places it on the index. She places her tome on the index as well, and Trevor places his greataxe on the floor, propping it up against the podium before saying, “Well, I’d still like to go to town and look around. Maybe we can find something to drink that isn’t wine.” He chuckles lightly and the others join in.

“Was that your plan all along, Trevor? To win so we would supply you with cheap beer?” Sypha bumps him with her elbow.

“I would never! You take me for that kind of guy, Syph?” Trevor laughs and hugs her.

“Yes. Yes, I do,” she smiles up at Trevor, then looks over at the dhampir who watches them sadly, wishing he could be a part of that.

Sensing something is a little off, Sypha says, “Would you like to join us?” 

Alucard nods quickly, eyes lighting up, and the two open a space for him, taking the man into their arms. For the first time since they’ve arrived, Trevor and Sypha see an Alucard they’ve missed dearly. The man who used to sit next to them and joke around on cold nights and snuggle in between them for warmth all those months ago. 

Their touch is foreign, but desperately wanted, and Alucard smiles, holding them close. This is better. This feels normal. 

“I… I know this may be asking a lot, but I think tonight may be a bad night for nightmares. May I possibly.. Spend the night in your room? I don’t want to be alone tonight,” he whispers, breaking away so he can see their faces a little better. 

The speaker and the hunter look between one another and back to their friend. 

Trevor speaks up first, surprisingly. “Of course you can,” he says quickly, having wanted this for weeks now. “I mean- yeah, I don’t see why not. You can sleep between us, even, you know? So that you’re protected on both sides.”

A light, breathy chuckle puffs past the dhampir's lips and he smiles. “I think I’d like that. I may leave though if my memories get too bad, and I want to apologize in advance if I accidentally hurt you while I sleep. I don’t intend to.” Alucard stares into the icy blue eyes of the hunter, and the ocean waves held in Sypha’s, feeling comfort under their gaze.

“I’m sure everything will be okay, Alucard. Let’s just go get something to eat and then we can figure that out as it happens, okay?” Sypha smiles, rubbing his back gently.

The dhampir nods and they get onto the ingenious pulley mechanism Alucard developed and go eat dinner before preparing themselves for bed.

\-------

In the din of the night, the sun having tucked itself in under the horizon to have a cloudy night sky replace it, Sypha and Trevor change into their nightclothes. Soft candlelight glows in the room to keep it nicely lit while the pair wait for Alucard.

They sit on the bed when the soft knock arrives on the door and Alucard steps into the room, wearing a nightgown as usual. He rubs his arms slowly and the pair can see his legs are covered in the same strange scars as his top. 

“Are you sure you want to do this, Alucard? You can take your time with this. We don’t mind either way, of course, but, know you shouldn’t have to push yourself if you aren’t ready for this yet. We understand you went through a lot today,” Sypha says worriedly.

Alucard sighs softly and nods. “I want to get over this. I need to. I want to be at a point where I am comfortable around you both again and I feel like pushing through the past is the only thing I can do at this point.”

Red flags fire in the air for Sypha and Trevor and the speaker beats the hunter to the punch. “Alucard, listen, that isn’t healthy. You… need to go through this at your own pace. Please. Do not force yourself into a situation just to make yourself comfortable around us. What if you push it too far and we become aversive to you? I just- I am concerned for your safety and mental well being. You told us a lot earlier today. And what you told us is very traumatic. So if you force yourself to be in a bed with two people on a night like tonight- I just don’t want you to hurt yourself over this. That’s all.”

“Yeah, like Sypha said. As much as I want you back to your old ways, you… You can’t force something like that. I did that when I was younger with my family and it uh… didn’t go well for me. I just would hate for your eagerness to push you into a worse state of mind.” Trevor adds, nodding. 

Hearing the concern laced into the voices, Alucard looks down at himself and then says, “I’ll be right back.”

He hurries to his room and changes into something much more comfortable and that covers him more. They were right. He was pushing himself too far with that. The nightgown was too exposing, too reminiscent of that night and he knew that. Emotion builds in his chest as he realizes what good people his true friends are. 

The thin man returns after a little bit in his more comfortable attire and he finds himself greeted by the comforting smiles of his friends. 

“Feel better?” Trevor asks to which Alucard responds with a nod. “Good. Want to join us now?” Another nod. 

Taking a deep, slow breath, Alucard steps forward and takes a seat in between the pair. “I’m not sure what you’ll hear, or what you may see when I rest but if… I ask that if I get to a point of hurting you to please get away from me. I’m afraid if you wake me I won’t know the difference between reality and nightmare and I could lash out. I don’t want to hurt you… That’s the last thing I want to do. Harm the people who care for me the best.” He sighs softly. “I’m not sure what the best course of action here is, really because I’m not sure if I’m comfortable sleeping with more than one person, but I’m also not comfortable enough to sleep alone right now.”

Sypha thinks for a moment, just to herself before saying, “Would you like to start with just one person? If you want, one of us could go to a different room to sleep tonight and you can see how you fare with one person to start. If you want, I don’t mind sleeping alone tonight.”

“Are you sure? But… you’ll be separated. Because of me. Won’t that upset you?” 

“Not really. I sleep with Trevor every night! And I have for weeks and weeks! I want to sleep on a nice big empty bed, and I’m sure he wants to be away from my tiny icy feet prodding his legs at night.” Sypha laughs, pressing her foot against Trevor’s leg.

The hunter cries out and tears his leg away, rubbing his hand over it to warm the spot up. “Christ, do you make ice out of your fucking feet? Jesus! Yeah, look if you want to spend the night with me, I don’t blame you. You won’t have tiny icicles pressed against you during the night.” Trevor glares playfully at Sypha.

Alucard chuckles at the pair’s playful banter and he says, “Well… Alright. I think you make a good point about starting with one person. Perhaps we can alternate? Just so.. So no one is being left out?” 

“Sure. If that’s what you’d like to do,” Trevor nods, gently taking Alucard’s hand. 

The dhampir nods quickly, his cheeks flushing a light pink. 

“Does this mean I get your bed?” she asks, standing and looking expectantly at Alucard.

He nods quickly. “Of course. What’s mine is yours.”

Sypha gasps excitedly. “I am going to jump on it and make it into a giant blanket house! Oh, this is very exciting. You two have fun and sleep well. I have a small house to build.” She grins widely and kisses Trevor, then hugs Alucard very briefly and rushes into the hallway, closing the door quickly behind her.

The boys stare at the door with slight bewilderment, but then realize where this leaves them. 

“So um…”

“Yes, so-”

“Do you want to talk first?”

“Oh, no please, you were going to say something.”

Trevor clears his throat a little. _No Trevor. Stop it. You can’t. Not yet, you’ll turn him away from you. Calm down._ “Well, I was just uh, going to offer you to get under the blankets.”

“Uh, well I was going to ask if I could just hug you and kind of… get used to human contact once again?”

Trevor nods silently and stands, not sure how to do this. But that’s confusing because this should be just like Sypha, right? He’s just hugging a man instead. No big deal. Just.. Men being men, right? But he wants it to be more so badly.

Alucard stands as well and steps up close, wrapping his arms around the hunter’s torso and holding him. Just holding him. The contact is incredible. It feels warm and safe, and it feels even better when Trevor holds him back. His body relaxes and he puts his chin on Trevor’s shoulder, breathing in softly the hunter’s scent. 

He smells of light salt and sweat, and then his own smell underneath that Alucard can really only describe as Trevor.

Trevor's mind races a little. He holds the man close, making sure to be gentle and not push anything too far. "Is this alright?"

"Yes, yes this is good. Thank you. Thank you for everything." Alucard whispers.

Trevor nods. "Of course. Do you want to move somewhere a little more comfortable?" 

The dhampir nods slowly and breaks away from the hunter, his gaze downcast and slightly bashful. 

The pair get into the bed, Trevor blowing out the candles first and then slipping under the bedsheets and laying next to Alucard. The faint moonlight peeking through the clouds outside remains the only light source in the room, faintly pooling on the floor and onto the end of the bed. 

Initially, Trevor and Alucard lay separately. In the din of the evening, the pair lie on their backs and stare at the tall, almost cavernous ceiling. The silence is deafening almost, and awkward.

Many minutes pass before Trevor speaks up first, his fingers laced together across his stomach. 

"So um.. Do you want to stay separate? Or do you want to be closer?" He asks awkwardly.

"I don't mind trying something a little closer. Just.. for now. I can kind of tell it's something you want. You're always so close to me. And you always ask to hold my hand, or hug me.." Alucard mumbles, scooting closer.

Trevor blushes lightly. "Yeah, well.. I guess I like being around you. And you know how I feel about you. Usually, when someone.. likes you, they want to be near you. That's why Sypha and I are always so close. We love each other and we want to be closer to you. We just are keeping a distance because we didn't know what happened to you and weren't sure what was alright- If you even wanted us near you. But now we know so maybe we can help you better." Trevor says, then glances down when he feels the other's body next to his, closing the space between them.

Alucard lightly rests his head on Trevor's shoulder, lacing their fingers together and resting their hands over the man's clothed, but beefy, scarred chest. "Mm, yes I suppose I understand where you come from. Over this past little chunk of time, I'm finding it much easier to be around the both of you and I.. I miss feeling another person next to me. After they.. passed, after I had a taste of what that kind of contact was like, I found myself missing it and craving it but hating myself because it brought such terrible memories to light. Having you two around is so nice though.. I missed you dearly. But I am starting to get used to another's touch without it bringing back too many distasteful thoughts.." 

“See, and that’s progress, you know? Look, just know that we would never hurt you. Ever. Unless of course, I needed to insult you to bruise that huge ego of yours,” Trevor laughs.

“ _My_ ego? You’re the one so full of himself.” Alucard chuckles in return, his eyelids drooping slightly, exhaustion of the day’s events kicking in. 

Trevor glances down with a cocky look in his eye. “Really? That’s your comeback? I’m full of myself? Jesus, Alucard, that was really the best you have?” 

Only soft steady sighs return his jab, and Trevor looks down to see a snoozing half-vampire prince below him still holding his hand.

A gentle smile spreads across his face seeing the man so peaceful since the past few nights have been nothing but an onslaught of nightmares and sleepless evenings. 

Little did he know, the worst was not over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, please let me know what you think.
> 
> Here is my question: Do we want to continue this road of darker and harder to swallow content of Alucard working through his trauma with the gang or take a break and do something a little more lighthearted like a shopping trip? Just know that I'm okay with either. 
> 
> I know this story is a little dark to begin with, but I just want to know if we want more healing or if we need a little bit of a lighthearted break? Let me know! 
> 
> Now, I know I already said this, but it is really important:
> 
> To those who have suffered abuse, loss, or have an inner turmoil that has yet to be heard, and you don't yet have the strength to talk about it, know that it will all be okay. Take your time. Grieve, mourn, and process what you need to at your own pace. I am on Instagram (@anicebowlofsoup) if you need someone to talk to but know that it's also okay to ask for help in your process. If you have suicidal thoughts, if you have thoughts of self-harm or intentions of hurting yourself or others, please call the suicide hotline for help and know there are people out there who can help you. If no one will listen, I will. And if I can help by even being there, I will. Stay strong. These are tough times, but stay strong, we can do this together.
> 
> You are valued and loved and you will come out of your inner turmoil stronger than before.
> 
> All the best. Take care of one another, okay? United we stand, Divided we fall.
> 
> <3 Boo


	9. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alucard battles with nightmares after revealing his past to his companions and Trevor tries to help comfort him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I promise this series isn't over. It has been quite some time since my last update and I really do apologize for that. I'll explain why I've been gone and what I've been up to in the notes at the end. 
> 
> This chapter is not a very happy one. This chapter will be very dark and a little more on the angsty side as most of you asked for in the last chapter. It does have comfort, but a lot of this will be going through Alucard's mental state after unloading all of his PTSD. 
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> Minor Suicidal Thoughts  
> Non-Consensual Touching (Nonsexual)  
> Heavy Descriptions of Gore  
> Violence  
> Nightmares  
> Panic Attacks  
> Depression  
> Anxiety  
> PTSD  
> Language  
> Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter. Thank you for reading. This one will be longer due to my absence.

Lying with one another in a room filled with white moonlight that streams from the window, the duo fall asleep peacefully at first. Trevor dreams of nothing as usual, and Alucard starts with nothing for a little while. Peace befalls the man for only a moment. 

Unfortunately, his premonitions had been correct. His nightmares are worse tonight than they had been in days. 

This one begins where he wakes in a forest, unrecognizable yet there is something oddly familiar about this place that he cannot put a finger on. 

The trees are thick and densely populated but bare of leaves in the winter air while a plain, cloud-filled grey sky watches the scene from above. Snow covers the ground in a thick layer as more falls silently through bitter air. His footsteps crunch quietly as the snow compresses under his feet. A chilling wind sweeps through the area and curls around him in a tight and uncomfortable hug, even for his typical chilled temperatures. 

The vampire looks around to see if there is a path or a sign in which direction he should head, but he finds nothing. Just a cold empty forest where no beasts can be found and no flora is seen alive. A deathly still quiet surrounds him.

The prince continues traversing through the woods, simply walking, alone with his thoughts that lead to nothing. Snow begins collecting in his long gold hair and his nose turns pink with cold, the chilled winter air biting his cheeks, ears, and fingers. 

After what feels like hours, a splash of color catches his eye. 

Red. 

He walks closer to inspect the spot. 

A single red rose blooms at the base of the tree and he looks up, looking over the branches and bark to see if anything is different about this tree than the others but other than the fact that this tree has a wider trunk than the others in the vicinity, nothing, in particular, catches his golden gaze. 

He then stares at the blossoming flower and looks beyond the tree to see another splash of red in the distance. 

“Shall I pluck you as I go, or leave you here to guide my path on my return?” He wonders aloud. 

Whispers carry through the bitter breeze but the soft directions mean nothing to him as there is too great a number. Each voice tumbles over the other, giving directions on what to do but it all melds into one conglomerate of words without meaning. 

Alucard doesn’t know what to make of that so he plucks a single petal from the rose so he can find his way back but still brings some of the flowers with him. He travels for, again, what feels like hours, collecting about 50 petals or so before the roses begin to increase in numbers. Patches of four or five appear, then twenty or twenty-five, then even more where they create an entire path of red.

As he walks, an eerie noise echoes from the woods behind him and he turns to look at what could have made such a sound when he collides with something large and solid, falling backward as his grip on the petals loosens which causes them to scatter about him. The dhampir lies propped up on his elbow, staring around him. 

The roses and petals have changed. No longer do petals lie scattered both on and about him, but blood spatters. The red path of roses has transformed into nightmarish, bloody streaks leading to this spot.

He looks down and around him and sees the white blanket of snow below his body soaked in red as the trail leads up to a figure staked on a pike. The body is large and solitary. It casts no shadow. The figure is ashy grey in color and its back is turned to the man on the ground.

Alucard stands slowly. “Father?” He whispers, cutting into the silence surrounding him. “Trevor, maybe?”

He takes tentative steps toward the figure, walking around to get a look at their face, but as his perspective changes, he sees six figures in a lineup next to this, staked all the way through as bloody gore and viscera stains the forest floor. 

Shock freezes Alucard to the ground as he gazes in horror upon the bodies of Sypha and Trevor, his mother and father, Sumi and Taka. Each body is in a different state of decay: his father’s takes the form of the ashen skeleton that had exploded before his eyes the night he ended his father’s genocide. His mother also takes the form of an ashen black corpse that was burned at the stake, her mouth open in a mournful and agonized scream. Gore tumbles out from under her exposed ribcage and pools in a disgusting, steaming pile on the ground. Sumi and Taka appear as they did in front of the castle however their decomposing bodies are riddled with maggots and flies while other creepy crawlies feast on their rotting flesh. 

Sypha and Trevor are the worst though. They have similar expressions of a blank and empty, dead-eye stare into his eyes. 

As he stumbles to the side, their eyes follow him, their arms reached out towards him in almost a welcoming way however, their bodies are tied to the stakes upside down causing the entrails and blood to have streamed down to their heads, into their eyes, and through their hair. Their faces are bloated and full of blood, dark reddish-purple in hue from being upside down for who knows how long. Their skin is peeled up in places, and their legs are broken and mangled, exposed bone and muscle peeking from under torn flesh. Their hair is patchy and bleeding and their fingers, toes, and ears are horribly frostbitten. 

Alucard tries his best not to vomit, and he tries to run away, but every time he tries to leave the clearing, he somehow enters it again. After maybe ten agonizing minutes of staring his dead loved ones in the faces as their eyes trail him, he watches as their mouths begin to move, trying to call for him as all of them now reach out. They begin to wail and sob, mournful and bitter sounds echo from their mouths. He screams and closes his eyes tightly, falling to the ground, trying anything to get away from the sight. Tears burn his eyes and a devastating sob falls from his lips. 

The dhampir falls to his knees holding his head before striking his temple harshly with the heel of his palm over and over to jar him from this nightmare. He strikes himself, again and again, the wails of the six now deafening him.

All of a sudden, warmth floods over his body and he hesitantly cracks open his eyes. 

A warmly lit lounge lays before him. Comfortable lounge chairs sit regally before a crackling hearth with a nice and hot fire roaring in the center of the wall. A small table sits by one of them with a hot pot of boiling water and some teacups next to it along with an assortment of little snacks to eat.

Footsteps rush toward his location and he turns to see Sypha and Trevor hurrying into the room with wide and frantic eyes. 

“Alucard, my goodness! Here, take these blankets before you catch your death of cold!” Sypha says, wrapping one around his shoulders while Trevor helps him to his feet.

The vampire prince thanks her with a silent nod then clutches the warm fabric around his shoulders and thanks to them quietly, sitting on the lounge chair to breathe and let his mind catch up with everything that just happened.

He sits and rubs his face, trembling slightly as his breathing shudders from his body while he tries desperately to control his heart rate. He shivers from the cold and rubs his arms to warm up.

The Speaker pours him a cup of tea and sits next to him, handing the warm mug to the shaken man next to her while Trevor sits on the opposite side of him, watching. 

“What happened,” she asks, gently rubbing his back with worry and concern laced in her words. 

“I-I don’t want to talk about it,” Alucard mutters, holding his blankets tightly.

Sypha frowns a little. “Why not? Alucard, it’s okay. We’re here for you. You can tell us anything.”

The vampire looks over to her, confused. “Sypha, I just… I don’t feel ready to talk about it yet, that’s all.”

“But we deserve to know-” She starts before Trevor butts in.

“Sypha, let the man keep his secrets. He clearly won’t tell us, so just move on. Hey, you should eat something. You’re paler than usual.” Trevor stands, getting the plate and bringing it with him to his seat, offering some of the snacks off of it to his companion. He is met only with a shake of the head and a polite decline.

“Alright, suit yourself then.” Trevor shrugs his broad shoulders and begins to eat. 

Sypha places a hand on Alucard’s leg, watching him intently. “Are you ready to talk?” Her sapphire lakes stare at him with what he imagines is an attempt at comfort, but he can’t help but feel uncomfortable under her gaze. It feels sinister, and that is not a word he would use to describe his dear sweet Sypha.

“What?” Alucard looks back to her again, feeling uneasy. “No. Sypha please, I- Please take your hand off of me.” 

Sypha glares, continuing to trail his leg and inner thigh with her fingers. 

“Sypha, stop it.”

Trevor now holds his lower back and his hand. “Alucard, you mentioned how you want to feel love and affection again. We’re just trying to honor that request.”

With fear overtaking his heart and panic welling in his chest, Alucard shakes his head and quickly starts to stand, trying desperately to get away from his friends. 

Fingers tighten around his wrists, holding him back. 

Alucard whips his head around and sees a sight he desperately wishes he had not: his friends begin changing before his eyes. Their skin begins to bubble and deform, slowly sloughing off into bloody piles on the floor, exposing meat and bone underneath until all that remain are gore-speckled skeletons grinning back at him. 

“What’s the matter, Alucard? We’re giving you your reward.” Trevor’s voice echoes from the violent mess behind him. 

“Yes, yes, your reward-” Sypha starts, tugging him back toward her. 

His chest tightens and in panicked desperation, he attempts to slip from their grasps to no avail. Their grip begins cutting into his skin, pressing into flesh when suddenly their grasp goes hot. Burning hot.

Whipping around, the dhampir sees the remains of his compatriots up in violent, roaring flames, the fire licking the bones and inching ever closer to his own skin. Their screams echo through his skull, the sound so loud he can focus on this and nothing else. 

Unable to escape, the flames start their slow climb up his arms, pulling and lighting the fabrics he wears until soon, Alucard finds himself in a burning inferno as the skeletons now hold him closer to them. 

Nothing but sobs and screams and light laughter reach his ears through roaring fire and then nothing at all. Nothing but darkness.

He floats alone in a dark empty vacuum of space. He floats alone with his trauma. Alone with his thoughts. 

_ If only I would die, then this would be over. Maybe if I died, nothing would hurt me any longer. _

The noise in his head grows louder and louder and Alucard finds himself now repeatedly striking his temples with his fists, trying to do anything to break him out of the noise. Anything to stop hurting, stop feeling, stop existing. 

~~~~~

Body movement beside him jostles him from the light sleep Trevor Belmont had been enjoying. 

The hunter cracks his eyes a little to see the vampire in his arms jolting his head violently in his sleep, drenched in sweat and crying. His usually impeccable golden locks lay in a tangled mess underneath his head and Trevor notices that Alucard’s nails are unusually sharp. 

_ “I’m not sure what you’ll hear, or what you may see when I rest but if… I ask that if I get to a point of hurting you to please get away from me.” _

The vampire’s warning echoes softly in the back of Trevor’s mind.  _ It’ll be fine. He’ll be alright. _

“T… Trev...vor…” comes a quiet mumble from the pale lips of the dhampir. 

“Yeah? What is it,” asks the hunter quietly in return, only to receive silence. He shrugs and gently begins rubbing Alucard’s shoulder. “You’re alright. You’ll get through this.”

_ Fuck! I wish I knew how best to help but like.. There’s nothing I can do! Shit, well… Let’s wait and see how this escalates if it does. _

About thirty minutes pass with nothing and Trevor has fallen back asleep, his chest gently rising and falling. Peaceful rest finds him until blood-curdling screams wake him with a start. 

Alucard cries out in agony, and Trevor goes to try and wake him, but the pleas of the prince replay in his mind.

_ “I’m afraid if you wake me I won’t know the difference between reality and nightmare and I could lash out.” _

Trevor considers his options and concludes that he would wake him. 

_ “I don’t want to hurt you…” _

Images of what happened to the last time Alucard ‘hurt’ someone flashes through his mind and he begins to slowly move out from underneath his companion. He’d like his neck whole and well for the time being and he’d rather not be a splattered mess on the bed. Not today. 

Trevor stands next to the bed, and he yawns, watching the poor man writhe below him. Eventually, he turns his back, unable to watch any longer. His mind wanders to Sypha, wondering if she had awoken from the screams and was coming to join him to help comfort their friend when he awoke. She never arrives.

_ Damn heavy sleeper.  _

The fit lasts about twenty minutes until finally, golden eyes flash open and Alucard sits up with a start, staring around frantically. 

“Whoa, hey, hey breathe. You’re alright. I- I’m here. It’s me, Trevor.” Trevor says awkwardly, taking a hesitant step closer. 

The dhampir whips his head around and the intense terror on his face makes Trevor realize this is far more serious than he thought.

Alucard immediately begins trying to back away from him, his breathing unsteady and labored as his hands shake. Finally, he just holds his head in his hands. 

“Uh.. shit, hey, Alucard. Um.. hey, listen. You’re going to be okay. You’re safe. I-I’m here to help,” the hunter says in a soft, quiet voice. “What do you need? I can give you more space if you want.”

He remembers a little while before this, Alucard had been having a panic attack like this and after it was all said and done, he explained to them what he needed during those moments. He needed to be reminded that he was safe and that the attack would be over soon. It was hard to tell sometimes but sometimes Alucard wanted them close and sometimes he wouldn’t depending on what he was feeling and he would answer accordingly, nodding or shaking his head, or even using hand signals.

Alucard shakes his head and raises a hand to begin to beckon Trevor closer, but he stops and in his mixed thoughts and feelings, the dhampir attempts to strike himself again to bring himself clarity. 

Trevor, however, is quick and leaps into action, grabbing the other’s hands and holding them still. 

“Alucard, it’s okay not to know. Please. I’m here. You- You are safe and nothing is going to hurt you. You’re in a soft bed and you’re here with me. Whatever you saw wasn’t real. I promise you. Would you like me to go get Sypha?”

Alucard looks at him, the tenseness in his arms lessening, and he says, “No.”

“Um.. alright. Is it okay that I’m this close?”

He receives a nod in response. 

“Okay, okay good. Can… Can I hold your hands like this?”

Alucard looks at them for a long moment before nodding. 

“Alright. Is there anything you need from me?”

A gentle shake replies.

Trevor nods in return, sitting with one leg tucked under him next to his companion, gently rubbing calloused thumbs over soft pale hands. The sharp pointed nails that had previously been there have receded into his regular long fingernails without razor-sharp points on the end. 

After several long minutes, Alucard’s breathing returns to a steady pace and his trembling hands become mostly stationary. 

“Thank you.” A whisper slips past the pale lips of the prince and he looks up at his hunter, pulling his hand away to wipe his cheeks. 

“Yeah,” Trevor nods, his eyes raking over the dhampir and taking in his state. Alucard’s skin is gaunt and pale, his eyes cradled with dark circles, and his cheeks devoid of life. His hair is a mess, his body glistening with sweat. “Of course. Hey, you uh.. you look a little paler than usual. When was the last time you fed?”

Glancing up with tired eyes, Alucard shakes his head and shrugs. 

Without hardly any hesitation, the hunter adjusts his position on the bed and holds out his arm for the other, staring at him through his icy blue eyes. “Alucard…” he mumbles, much like a disapproving mother would. This whole process of Alucard feeding on him and Sypha has gotten a little easier over the past couple of weeks, and Trevor finds it easier to stomach in more recent times. 

For the first time since their return, Alucard does not protest the offer and carefully begins to feed until he gets his fill. 

Pulling away after he finishes, he covers his mouth and looks away. “Thank you, Trevor.”

“Yeah, of course. You know, I kind of noticed that your nightmares get worse when you’re running on empty. You can always let us know when you need to feed, okay? It’s not really that strange to me anymore and Sypha- I think Sypha likes it if I’m honest. She’s a freak like that, you know,” he smirks. 

“Sometimes I think you like it too,” Alucard replies, staring back up at him with a very faint but visible smile on his face. It fades after a moment. “I’m sorry you had to bear witness to-”

“No. No, don’t start. It’s alright. You did some soul-bearing yesterday and it came out tonight and I- I get it. I was kind of in a similar place after my family… well, you know. Only difference was I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it, so it festered and manifested into the disgruntled asshole who sits before you.” He scoots back on the bed to give the other a little space. 

Alucard scoffs, wiping his lip with his thumb. “Well… I am glad I have you two here with me. I… Don’t know where I would be without you two here.”

_ You’d be where Dracula was. _ The burly brunette thinks to himself. “Well, you’d probably still be muttering to those dolls of us. What was your impression of me?” Trevor asks, trying to keep everything a little more on the light side. “I’m sure it was something along the lines of I drink too much and I’m too stupid to do anything or something, right?”

Alucard grows quiet and his gaze fixes to the floor in a shadowy corner of the room by the large window with white flowy drapes. 

“Shit, sorry. Um… Hey, can I- I don’t know if you want to, but if you want to talk about it you can. I was wondering if you wanted a bath. Your hair looks like a rat made a nest and died there,” Trevor chuckles. 

Not even a smile. “Trevor please don’t… Not- not right now,” Alucard whispers, his voice verklempt.

The hunter’s shoulders slump a little and he puts a supportive hand on his shoulder. “I- I understand. Sorry about that. Not the best time, I suppose. Would you like a bath, though? Maybe it’ll help loosen your muscles and help you relax.” 

Alucard thinks for a long while. The silence becomes deafening almost. 

Finally, he nods and Belmont stands, offering him a hand. The vampire takes it and stands slowly, his mind racing and drawing a blank at the same time. The floor is cold beneath his feet

“... Alucard?”

“Yes?” he asks, glancing up.

“Did you hear what I asked?”

“Oh, no sorry.”

“Would you like bubbles or just hot water in your bath?” 

“The lavender soaps, please.” 

Trevor nods and begins filling the tub with water, humming softly to himself as he does so. 

Standing back, watching and listening, Alucard folds his arms tightly across his chest, comparing the dream to the people he knows. 

Trevor is gentle- mostly- and kind, a little inconsiderate or clueless, but he means well. The one in his dream was demanding and definitely inconsiderate, but he meant harm. Real Trevor knows and respects his boundaries, understanding that ‘no’ is always an okay answer.

Sypha is charming and sweet, wholesome and gentle, and she always has his best interest in mind, meanwhile, Sypha in his dream was borderline cruel, and disrespectful, thinking only of herself and her desires. Real Sypha does think of her own desires, but she thinks of how it impacts those around her and if those around her aren’t on board, she stops immediately to care for them, no matter what.

His mind races and his head begins pounding so he tries to focus on Trevor. 

The man’s brow is furrowed in concern or concentration- Alucard can’t quite tell- and his muscles seem tense. 

Alucard studies the features of Trevor. His beard is getting long and it makes him look a little disheveled, and his hair is getting longer as well, slightly covering his eyes. His eyes… Icy blue oceans on a clear day. The circles under his eyes are dark, but they always have been that way. His chest and arm muscles ripple under heavily scarred, tan skin as they begin mixing soap in the bathwater. 

The dhampir’s mind begins to wander, imagining himself held firmly against that chest like they had been before he fell asleep. He wonders if Trevor would even want to try that again based on what happened tonight. 

“There you are,” says the hunter, drying his arms on his pants. 

“Thank you,” Alucard whispers. “I really do appreciate all you’ve been doing for me. I’m sorry you have to deal with the shreds of who I was and all of-”   
  
“Alucard, listen to me. I don’t care about that, really. I care about you getting better. What happened in the past happened, and I am more than happy and willing to help you get back to a place you feel safe in, alright? Don’t apologize for something you couldn’t and cannot control. Just… Come back to bed when you’re done. I-” 

_ No, no stop that’s too forward. Fuck me. I’ve only ever said that to Sypha and I almost just said it to… After he just woke up from something traumatizing? Stop, Trevor. Just wait… _

“You what..?” Alucard asks ever so softly, looking up at Trevor through long strands of gold. 

The hunter thinks for a moment. “Don’t worry about it. Just come back to bed when you’re done. I’ll be there. Call if you need anything, okay?”

Dropping his gaze, Alucard nods slowly. “Thank you.”

Trevor nods back and exits, allowing the other to take care of himself. 

The vampire closes the door behind him and quickly gets out of his nightgown, stepping into the hot water and allowing himself to relax and breathe for a while. 

When he has finally finished cleaning himself, washing his hair and the water has run cold, Alucard steps out and drains the bath, drying himself, putting on new nightclothes, and brushing out his hair before returning to Trevor. 

Belmont sits in the bed, dozing off a little, his head bouncing gently, but he looks up when the prince pads into the room. 

“Ah, you’re back. How was it?”

“Lovely, thank you. I’m feeling much better now.” Alucard smiles softly. “May I join you?” 

Trevor nods and scoots over, yawning. 

“Now, now. You’re not tired, are you? I was ready to start the day,” he teases, getting into bed and sitting close to his companion. 

“I see you’re feeling better,” Trevor says, starting to wrap an arm around Alucard’s shoulders before stopping. 

The vampire takes his hand and drapes the beefy arm over his smaller frame. “I- It’s okay. I feel better and… I-” 

“You what?” Trevor asks suspiciously. After a somewhat lengthy pause, “What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue,” he smirks, running his calloused thumb up and down a pale arm.

“Nothing. I just-” Alucard pauses and then mutters a soft, “I feel safe. I… I feel safe when you hold me like this.”   
  


Blinking a little in surprise, the hunter glances down with a soft pinkish hue painting his cheeks in the moonlit room, but his gaze quickly averts and he clears his throat. “I- uh… Yeah, I like having- I- this um… Yes, this-”

“Cat got your tongue, Belmont?” Alucard chuckles, laying his head against the other’s chest. 

The cool damp of the golden strands across his skin feels refreshing against the rising heat and flush from the blonde’s confession. “N-No, fuck you.”

Alucard simply smirks and tries to fall back asleep. It doesn’t happen immediately for him, but it does for Trevor. 

The hunter’s breathing evens out, and the prince tries to match the deep and full breaths, eventually falling in rhythm. Once this happens, sleep returns to him and although his sleep is still uncomfortable and restless, the nightmares are less frequent and less memorable. 

They remain asleep until morning when a lovely Speaker magician comes and wakes them with a smile and a nice breakfast.

“Good morning,” comes her soft, singsong voice through the room. She peeks inside and sees the pair snuggled together and it just warms her heart to see. “Alucard? Trevor~ Wake up! I made you breakfast,” she smiles.

The two rouse from sleep, rubbing their eyes and yawning. Alucard shifts and continues to hold Trevor and Trevor blinks, opening his eyes to see one of his favorite people. 

“Hey, Sypha,” he smiles.

“How did you two sleep?” She begins bringing in a large tray with an assortment of different things to eat. “I slept great, honestly. Making a pillow fort was one of my better ideas.”

“Mmm, yes, I slept fine.” Trevor stretches underneath the vampire and Alucard decides to sit up before responding. 

“Nightmares were bad, but Trevor helped me through them. Thank you, Sypha,” He says, running his fingers through his hair to rid it of tangles. 

The Speaker pauses and looks up at him. “What were they about, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

He sighs gently and shakes his head. “Maybe later today I will have the stomach to tell you. They were very violent and very frightening.”

“Of course! Well, then you should get something to eat to regain some strength. I made some eggs and I tried something new. I make breakfast cakes! They’re flat little round cakes that I put butter and fresh berries on top of. So I hope you like them. I think I will call them pancakes since I made them in a pan and they look like cake layers.”

A small wave of relief washes over the prince when Sypha accepts that he doesn’t want to speak on the subject yet. Things will get better. These things just take time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! There is typically a storm before the rainbow and that is where this story will be for a little while. It gets harder before it gets easier and better. Make sure you are checking up on your loved ones and talking to them. Listen to what they need, listen to what you need if you are going through something difficult. Take time for yourself. Anyway! Remember to take care of yourself and others, wear a mask, don't forget to spread love and positivity, and don't spend your energy on those who don't fill you up. Eat good food, celebrate today, and don't take anything for granted. Love you all!
> 
> Now if you're wondering what happened to me since I haven't posted in over 6 months, part of it was I ran out of creativity for this particular story. I had been writing the other one for a little while and was having more fun with it, and I was worried about how to continue this story from where I left it. And then the shit hit the fan so to speak.  
> I lost two family members in the span of two months in July and August and they kind of came out of nowhere. I was alone in my house with no one to really hang out with for almost 3 months and because of the pandemic, I couldn't really see anyone, and work was taking up all of my time. From September to now, I've had some health problems come up and some other scares that have taken up my time. My work is taxing and I needed a break and I am finally getting one. I also think I may be developing depression so that's new. There is quite a bit more, but that's a little insight as to why I've been absent. I'm so sorry for the wait and for those of you who have stuck around or are new here, thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate you all.
> 
> Stay safe and take care of yourselves,  
> Soup

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this. If you did, that's amazing! Thank you! If not, I hope you have a nice day anyway, and thank you for taking the time. It means a lot.


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